My mind is coming undone, as is my world.
My shadow friend, the one who’s been visiting me so often, is now like a mirror of myself, his face scarred, his body, bruised, broken, old, and his eyes, empty, the spark of darkness gone.
He tells me it’s his fault, their fault, they are trying to unmake him, unmake, all of us, he fears the truth will soon shatter reality and when it does, all that is, will cease to exist, and, not even I will be left.
I demand to know his secrets, what lies he has told me, misfortune he says, misfortune is the truth, is reality, one that I must face, but, will I be whole, will I be ready when the curtain closes.
He speaks in riddles, not as jolly as they once were, not soaked in the blood of others, now, softly spoken, restrained, its energy gone.
Then I hear my name, and my voice reply, but yet I said nothing, I wander through my home, as if it is unknown to me, almost getting lost as corridor after corridor join on to the last, finally, I find my way into a room, white, smelling of chemicals, suddenly I’m sitting alone in the room, and then, he is there standing before me.
He smiles, and grips my shoulder, assuring me that everything will be fine, soon I’ll be done with all this, it’s not his words that I feared, it was the sadness in his eyes, he gripped me again, tightly by the shoulder, not in anger, but in compassion, reassurance, this man, I knew him, he knew me, but, who was he.
I ask him why he was here, who he was, and what has he done to my home, his face became sadder, and he smiles again, he said once again everything was going to be alright, that sometimes, a battle with no reward, is a battle best lost.
And then, he was gone, I was standing in the doorway to my lounge room, home, a child sat on the floor, playing with Lego, she beckoned me to join her, a smile on her face, she called me daddy, I reached out to her, I felt my lip trembling, I, I was disoriented, and he grabbed my arm, shaking his head in displeasure, my shadow friend, was he me, was I it, or were we one in the same, are we all just one mind fractured into many?
The little girl disappeared, and I was alone once more, lost in my thoughts, so I sat on the couch for hours, staring at the spot where she sat, her words buzzing around my head, as were those of the strange man, and my shadow friend.