Twisted Roads – Twisted Horror Stories by Matthew Tonks

Fangs for the Memories

We’re not sure who started the rumour about Mister Jarvis being a vampire. I know it wasn’t Fielding or me; it could’ve been Bailey. But none of that is really important anymore, as we all pretty much have to live with what happened regardless of the role we played in it all.

Yokel Sepalovic arrived at our school ready to learn the English way. He’d grown up in Germany and learned all his English from YouTube and TV. Given that information, it was surprising to find out he was quite easy to understand, and you could even manage a conversation with him, sometimes without even asking him to repeat himself. But none of that really matters; it’s what happened when he heard about Mister Jarvis that does.

According to Yokel, vampires are quite common in Germany, and almost every man, woman, and child are trained in the art of detecting and removing threats believed to be vampiric in nature. We thought he was pulling our chains until he showed up with a necklace made from the teeth of vampires he had killed—twenty-nine—and if Mister Jarvis was indeed a vampire, it would be his thirtieth kill. Apparently, he told us, in Germany, when you hit thirty kills, you are considered an adult and are bestowed many things. For a male, one of the rewards is a sexual encounter with a woman from the Tangsha Tribe. We laughed at him until he showed us a photo. They were all beautiful, and I don’t mean the normal run-of-the-mill, yeah-she’s-beautiful kind; I mean I started to get a stiffy when I saw the photo. So we all agreed if Mister Jarvis was indeed a vampire, we would help Yokel put a stop to him so he could get to bang one of those hot chicks.

It started out innocently. One day after class, Yokel, Bailey, and I stayed at our desks, waiting for everyone else to leave. Apparently, one of the easiest signs that someone was a vampire was to throw holy water over them. As he wasn’t sure if holy water down here was the same as the holy water he had at home, he said it might not be as effective. But it’s always the first and easiest way to find out.

Anyway, Mister Jarvis asked why we were all still seated, and Bailey said that he was hoping we could do a bit of extra credit work as we were both slipping behind. At first, he wasn’t buying straight into the story and then proceeded to question why Yokel was also there. Bailey didn’t drop the charade for a second and fed Mister Jarvis an almost true-to-fact story about how Yokel’s English wasn’t that good, and he relied on me to find his way home every day, which was why he was waiting—because he had no idea what to do. Mister Jarvis walked towards us with a huge smile, and that’s when Yokel jumped up and threw the holy water in his face. Mister Jarvis screamed, and Yokel looked at me, nodding his head. It was true—Mister Jarvis was a goddamn vampire.

The next few moments moved quickly, too quickly really. Yokel pulled a wooden stake from his desk and proceeded to stab Mister Jarvis like he was possessed. Blood gushed everywhere, and Bailey and I just stood there watching it all. I can tell you, it was scarring, to say the least. It wasn’t like in the movies; he didn’t turn to ash, he didn’t burst into flames, he just bled and screamed a lot.

The school janitor, Mister Dumpy, heard all the commotion and managed to stop Yokel as he was trying to pull a tooth out of Mister Jarvis’s dead body. That’s when he went nuts and drove the stake into Mister Dumpy’s head. He looked at us and smiled. He said the school was a cover and it was really a nest. He was going to get a woman for us all once he was done. By the time the police arrived at the school, Yokel had managed to overpower and kill seven of the school’s faculty members and was far from done. It took five officers to eventually tackle him to the ground and get him in cuffs, but he still managed to bite an ear off one of the officers in the scuffle.

We found out later that Yokel, which was not his real name, was wanted in Germany for the suspected murders of over twenty-five members of his previous school. Apparently, his parents had smuggled him out of the country to try and protect him. Unfortunately, when the police went to interview them, they were gone. I saw him on the news later that night, and it was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. He kept on saying how he was a hero and that this town was infested like his home.

But you know what? You want to know what I really think? I believe every word he said…