Twisted Roads – Twisted Horror Stories by Matthew Tonks

Olivia

I met her by accident. Well, okay, that’s not entirely true. I did mean to meet her, but I didn’t go there to meet her; it just happened. I guess you want some understanding, and I can see how that makes sense. So let me start at the beginning, or better yet, let’s start from a few hours ago, when I arrived at Lenny Sanders’ fiftieth birthday party.

Originally, I went there knowing full well my ex-wife and her new boy toy, Sammy the motherfucking porn star, would be there. I guess you can tell we didn’t part on good terms, but he is a porn star—that part I’m not joking about.

You see, she wanted more out of life, and I was sick and tired of working my body to the bone and not getting anything from it. So we parted ways: I quit my job, and she started fucking ‘long dong’ Sammy, who earned his money on his back. He had lots of energy for her, and she didn’t seem to mind that he shagged whoever he had to for a living.

I googled him not too long ago, and well, I can see why she likes him, although I’m not sure if she’d googled him. The sorry son of a bitch has done some bestiality in his time. But I guess, really, that’s not too much different than doing her.

Anyway, where was I? That’s right, her. She walked in alone and sort of drifted around the party, head down most of the time, with the occasional smile, but otherwise kept to herself. We made eye contact somewhere between the drinks and the cheese. I smiled, she blushed, and the next thing I know, we’re down the hall in one of Lenny’s kids’ rooms, banging away like a couple of teenagers. She did things to me that I never knew could be done, and I did what she told me to.

It had been a while since I’d been intimate with someone, and there was a mess. She laughed, we quickly cleaned ourselves up, and made our way back to the party. By the end of the night, I was quite tipsy. Olivia—that was her name—and I had spent most of the night talking.

I found out she was Sammy’s ex, in many ways, life and film. To say she was surprised when she found out my ex-wife was his current shag, as she put it, was an understatement. Her jaw dropped, and then she laughed. At the end of the night, we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

When I got home, I decided to google her. At first, when she didn’t come up, I figured she must’ve used a different name. That’s around the time I noticed her eyes in a picture of two up-and-coming male adult stars, Long John Sammy, and Deep Down Larry. I was shocked, appalled; I felt like she’d lied to me. I picked up the phone and dialed her number, but before she picked up, I hung up.

What a gutless wonder I was. As it would turn out though, modern technology was to be my enemy, and seconds later my phone started ringing. When I answered it, she was on the other end. What followed was a four-hour phone conversation about life, the ups and downs of being who you want to be, and the mistakes we all make. Making it the best night of my life. Tomorrow, I think, is going to be even better.