Twisted Roads – Twisted Horror Stories by Matthew Tonks

Dialla

To say my brother and I have had an eventful life would be putting it bluntly; you could even say it started when we first escaped our mother’s womb, nine weeks earlier than planned. For that decidedly inept choice, we spent three months in the intensive care unit of the baby’s ward at St. Alban Children’s Hospital. The years that followed had us in and out of hospital for a range of things. But as we got older and became stronger, we spent less and less time there. My brother Jesse would tell you differently, but that’s because he’s more of a jerk than me. Of course, it’s not his fault; it’s just the way it all turned out.

The story of real importance here begins when the Fargans moved in next door to us when we were thirteen, and we met Dialla.

Mum was always a major nosey parker, and nothing would ever be out of her watchful eye. So, when they moved in, she couldn’t let their arrival go without sticking her nose in the front door and inviting us all over for a welcome-to-the-neighbourhood meal. The Fargans, of course, wanted nothing more than to be left alone and settle into their new home. But they quickly learned Mum is a stubborn woman, so they agreed to the dinner, and Mum relentlessly went about creating dishes for the night.

Half their belongings still hadn’t been unpacked when we arrived for dinner, so Mum went about directing traffic and getting Mrs. Fargans ready for the night ahead. That’s when we first saw her, Dialla. Her name was just about as unusual as she was, but both Jesse and I were smitten instantly. She looked like she had just walked out of a Playboy magazine, and our teenage hormones could not control themselves. Dinner was a disaster, with Mum taking every opportunity to embarrass us, but Dialla just smiled and batted those beautiful eyelids at us the whole time.

After dinner, Mum and Mrs. Fargans disappeared off into the kitchen, while Dad and Mr. Fargans shared a beer and talked about football and cars. It seemed they had a lot in common and became quick friends. As the years went on, Dad and Mr. Fargans, or Uncle Trev, as we ended up calling him, opened a mechanic shop together and made it pretty successful.

But it was what happened next that changed the whole night. Jesse and I were left to awkwardly talk with Dialla, who, after five minutes of awkward silence, asked us excitedly if we wanted to see something awesome down in the cellar. Jesse and I didn’t hesitate to say yes. You see, when the Millers lived there, it was a creepy place, but at the same time, it was awesome. I had my first and only feel of Kelly Miller’s boobs in that cellar, and Jesse, well, he got to feel something a bit lower down. That all happened the week before the Millers left, so the memories were still fresh in our minds.

Now, for the sake of being honest—because, well, I have to be honest for the sake of the story—I was instantly erect when she took us down. Dialla had set the cellar up as a room, kinda like a studio apartment, with a silk curtain separating the room off from her bed. To start with, she got Jesse and me to sit down, and then she kissed both of us, full tongue and all. It was amazing. I made a mental note to make sure that when I was to write my memoirs, this room would be considered my good luck charm. She then proceeded to do a little dance, and what happened next, I’ll never forget.

“So, how far have you boys been with a girl?” she asked.

“All the way,” Jesse blurted out. I looked at him quickly, knowing he was a lying sack of shit.

“What about you, Bobby? You been all the way yet?” she asked as she leaned in towards me so I could see right down her top, and I felt my erect penis twitch with excitement.

“Umm, sure, hasn’t everyone?” I replied nervously. She just laughed.

“You boys know there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, don’t you?” she said, laughing as she stepped behind the curtain. “Now honestly, have you both been all the way with a girl?” she asked like a schoolteacher. We both looked at the floor and said no in unison.

“I thought as much,” she said with a laugh. “Well, how about we change that?”

It was at that precise moment I came in my pants, and I’m fairly sure from the noise Jesse made, he did as well.

“Don’t worry, boys, I’m still good to go,” Dialla said with a laugh as she came out from behind the curtain. Both Jesse and I dropped our mouths open with indescribable fear. Standing there was the most beautiful girl either of us had ever seen, and where it should have been nothing but hair, was a big, and when I say big, I mean fucking huge, hard penis. Jesse looked at me again, and I could tell he was thinking the same thing I was, and we both ran home as fast as our legs could carry us.

It was pretty awkward for a while after that. Eventually, it turned out that Dialla had an overly weird sense of humour and also enjoyed the occasional dress-up. Had we stayed around a bit longer, or the light had been better in the room, we would’ve realised it was a dildo that she had strapped on, and not a real one. Of course, we laughed about it when we found out, and over time we got used to Dialla’s sense of humour. That’s not to say it didn’t get us into a lot of trouble, because it did—more trouble than I like to remember. Too many times we’d end up running from someone or something. To say meeting Dialla changed my life is an understatement. I even married the crazy woman. But I swear from that day on I never looked at Playboy the same way again.