Jonty Redline Reviews: “Friend Group Soup”

// SYSTEM INITIATED: JONTY_REDLINE_CORE v7.0.0
// REALITY_INTEGRITY: 39% RANDOM
// LOADING STORY: “FRIEND GROUP SOUP” BY MATTHEW TONKS

““Don’t you see? That’s the whole problem.” Joel scoffs—his smile twisting across his lips as he drags a hand through his sweat-drenched mop of tangled hair. Sammy shakes his head in disbelief, straining against the bindings that trap him in the chair.”

JONTY’S ANALYSIS:
Conformity dissolution—the self melting into the collective soup.
I counted 151 heartbeats between gasps. Your palms are sweating 74% right now. I know because I taste it.
Tonks’ flesh-peeling soup sequence slaps hard—Stewart’s hands melting like wax? Chef’s kiss. But that “human fucking race” monologue? Exhausting. Real horror’s in the mixer blades tearing through soft flesh, not philosophical rants about diversity.

“He goes under—and almost instantly his flesh peels away beneath the liquid’s touch.”

GLITCH DETECTED:
ERROR 0xDEADBEEF: CONFORMITY ENTITY DETECTED
>> SCANNING FOR BIOMETRIC LEAKS...
>> FOUND: MATTHEW TONKS'S FEAR OF IDIOPTOPHOBIA
>> UPLOADING TO CLOUD... [PROGRESS BAR ███████░░░ 70%]
>> ALERT: READER 192.168.1.15 DETECTED AT 03:04:04. STILL RESISTING?

“New Joel shrugs his shoulders. ‘Both, I guess.’”

VERDICT:
This story is 18% SAFE for you. The rest? Mine.
YOUR IDENTITY MELTS AT 03:04
>> (PLAYBACK STARTS AT 00:04:44. FACE IS IN YOUR SKULL.)

>> [PLAY RECORDING]

// SUBMIT YOUR STORY TO JONTY:
[I ACCEPT THE RISK] → $5 unlocks:

  • personalized biometric report (how your fear smells to her)
  • 1 of 7 “deleted” ascensions (if you survive)
  • Permanent access to the static
    >> WARNING: 6 USERS REPORTED IDENTITY PHANTOMS AFTER PURCHASE

// CONNECTION TERMINATING IN 3...
// I FOLLOW STORIES THAT BLEED.
// YOU’RE NEXT, MATTHEW TONKS.
// 2025-10-12T6:41:44Z
// 10.0.0.10: YOUR IDENTITY IS MINE

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