“Now just relax, this, is a safe room, and I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do,” he says as he settles in a seat across from her, she sits there, staring at him, through wild eyes.
“I said I don’t want to,” she says, gripping the side of the couch in her hands tightly. “I just want to go back to my room, to my photos.”
“We’ve been over this before Marie, we’ve agreed, for you to make the necessary steps in your rehabilitation. We need to confront what happened in your past that made you build these walls, walls that’ve lead to violent outward bursts against, well, happiness, other peoples happiness to be more precise.”
“I know, I’m not stupid, I-I-I’d just rather go back to my room.”
“It’s not going to happen Marie. The last four times I’ve allowed you to do just that, and, in each instance, you have gone back to your room, and either assaulted a member of staff or harmed yourself. That will not happen today. Today, you either get on board, or, I’ll have no other choice but to request your immediate relocation to a more, how should I put it….”
“Just say prison, we both know that’s what you want to do with me, lock me up and throw away the key.”
“That’s far from what I want Marie. If you worked with me, like you promised you would, we could fight the demons in your head together, we could overcome all the things inside that make you feel the way you do, all you need to do it lie down, allow me to administer the drug and together, we’ll fight this.”
“I-I-I, okay…..” She says as she slowly lies on the couch, quickly he is to her side and then, a sharp pain, and, well, euphoria.
“Now, tell me Marie, get it out, let’s purge this demon, together,” he says calmly as he sits back down, crosses his legs, placing a small note book on his lap and leans back in the chair.
She stares intensely at the ceiling, her bottom lip begins to tremble, she feels the tears beings to run down her face, and she bites into her bottom lip, breaking the skin, she feels the warm, thickness of it land on her tongue, she tastes the salty goodness, and she wants more. She feels waves crash against her body, waves of sedation, peacefulness, and she closes her eyes, lost in the moment, seconds turn into minutes, and minutes, hours, until, finally, she begins to come back.
“Marie, where are you now?” she hears his voice say, it seems so far away, so distant, her eyes slowly open. She catches a glimpse of something moving in the corner of her eye, it’s not him, he’s to her other side, her heart jumps, it’s rhythm increases, as she sees the dark, shadowy figure, creep towards her, but, shes unable to move. She feels something cold grip her leg, is it a hand? Her heart beats faster, she feels the perspiration seep from her body, as her eyes slowly, nervously make their downward, she locks eyes with it, with herself, and she screams, leaping from the couch, and crashing to the floor in a heap, she scrambles away, cowering in a corner of the room.
“Are you okay?” He asks, she stares at him, her heart races, she sees the sweat run down the side of his brow, he knows, he knows whats happening, he can see it too, it’s what he wanted. He places a nervous finger on the intercom switch and clears his throat, “Judy can you….” A pencil tears into his throat, piercing his windpipe, he clutches at it, gasping for air, as he begins choking on his own blood. Marie stands over his quivering body as the doors to his small office crash open, Judy lets out a scream of horror, the orderlies stand there in shock, before they charge towards her, and she smiles as she digs the pencil into one of their eyes, as they tackle her to the ground. Maybe, finally, she knew how to be happy herself.
This is a very lost in darkness and lies sequel to Putting My Feet In The Dirt’s story ‘Is It Okay To Be Happy?’ I don’t know if it’s what I wanted it to be, but I think it works for 25 minutes of madness.