You Don’t Know Stupid – Short Story

“When you side straddle it, you’re asking for more trouble than it’s worth. You should grip it tightly, then lower yourself on in the cowgirl position. That way you have all the control and none of the disposition of the side-saddle,” Jessica says with a muffled giggle.
“It’s not gonna happen that way. Side-saddle is the easiest position to get in, not to mention the most comfortable.”
“How in the he’ll is that a comfortable position?”
“It just is, trust me.”
“I’m not. I’ve used cowgirl all my life and it’s never failed for me.”
“Sounds like you need to mix the pot and see what sprouts up!”
“What the fuck are you on about?” Jessica says, screwing up honey er face in disgust.
“Change the norm. Try something new. Reinvent yourself.”
“Do your really think right now is the sort of time where reinventing ourselves is a wise move?”
“I know you’re old, but I didn’t think you were scared of change.”
“Shit Sophie, I’m not scared of change, I’m scared of fucking dying out there trying a stupid fucking move that will end in my death,” Jessica says through clenched teeth.
“Who’s overreacting now?”
“What the hell? I am not overreacting!”
“Of course you are,” Sophie says with a nervous smile. “Like one little shift in the way you sit on it will actually kill you. Do you know how crazy that sounds?”
“Sure, and if we weren’t trapped in a fucking stable, surrounded by what I’m sure can only be described as Nazi zombies, you’d think that would sound crazy as well? Right?”

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