Twisted Roads – Twisted Horror Stories by Matthew Tonks

DO NOT TAPE OVER THIS TAPE

Steven rubs his face and lets out a frustrated roar. “I DON’T FUCKING GET IT!” he spits as he wipes the table clean of all its belongings, sending everything crashing onto the floor, only to have it all reappear some seconds later. He looks up to Cosmo with enormously wide-open eyes. “SEE!” he roars. “SEE WHAT I MEAN?”

Cosmo shrugs and takes a bite of the apple. “Dude, I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, because I think that is pretty FUCKING creepy, but you need to CHILL the FUCK out! That right there, THAT is the least of our problems.”

“I-I-It DOESN’T WORRY YOU THAT THE TABLE RESET ITSELF? O-O-O—” his words trail off as he stares at the apple Cosmo is eating. “I-I-Is t-t-the FUCKING A-A-APPLE d-doing the same FUCKING thing!” he bellows as he rips the apple from Cosmo’s hand and takes a massive bite of it, only for the apple to seemingly grow the piece completely back. He sticks his tongue out, grabs it with his hand, then looks up at Cosmo. “I-I-It completely d-disappeared? I-It just d-disappeared out of my mouth,” he stammers.

“I know, it’s pretty crazy, right?” Cosmo says as he snatches the apple back, and takes another bite.

“B-B-But you’ve been e-e-eating apples for a-a-ages, I-I-I, I actually thought they were different apples, and now I realise it was the SAME FUCKING APPLE the whole FUCKING time! THE SAME FUCKING APPLE! Why the FUCK c-couldn’t you’ve said something?”

“What should’ve I said? Hey, the apples aren’t real, in fact nothing is real in this place! WHOA! Profound SHIT!”

“Come on, Cosmo, be FUCKING serious! How are we going to get out of this place, if you don’t keep me in the loop?”

Cosmo’s eyes widen and he shrugs his shoulders in disbelief. “I don’t know what to say to that. I never intentionally kept the whole same apple thing from you, I just thought you would’ve already noticed the same thing happening with a similar item, and decided not to tell me.”

“But how would me keeping something to myself benefit anyone?”

“Well, you could take notice of the killer’s schedule and work out a way to put any problems you have in the ground. That would be the sort of thing you’d keep in your own hands,” Cosmo replies with a broad grin on his face.

Steven squeezes his eyes closed, then starts blinking erratically like a man possessed, before finally meeting Cosmo’s matter-of-factly glare with one of his own. “S-So, can I go?”

“If you want, I’m not going to stop you,” he says with a grin.

“Have you taken note of something I haven’t? Is the killer about to come around the corner wielding that ‘FUCK YOU’ sized machete?”

“How would I know,” he says proudly.

Steven looks at Cosmo with suspicious eyes, creases his brow, and squeezes his lips. “Where did you say you were from?”

“Oh, I didn’t say anything, because you never asked.”

“Right, but we discussed which Video Shop you rented the tape from, right?”

“Nah, not that part either.”

Steven’s brow furrowed as he racked his brain for the answers he required, but he failed to find them. With an overly concerned gaze, he turned back to Cosmo. “W-W-Where did you rent the tape from?”

Cosmo smiled. “The old buy and sell workshop on the main drag, and I didn’t rent it, I bought it, a box of old movies.”

“W-W-When was that?”

“When did I buy the box of tapes?”

“Yeah.”

“A few weeks ago.”

“No, no.” Steven asks nervously. “What year was it?”

“What? Serio—”

“JUST TELL ME!” Steven spits.

“Sure, sure, calm the FUCK down, mister I overreact when it’s not about me, but it really is. It’s twenty-twenty-three.”

Steven’s mouth drops open, and his lips tremble. “B-B-B-Bullshit?”

“No bullshit,” Cosmo replies. “What year did you pick up the movie?”

“N-Nineteen Ninety-T-Two.”