A warning she said,
that’s what it was,
a glimpse into the future,
without her,
without hope,
I laughed at her,
told her she was mad,
it was a dream,
a scream from my broken mind,
slowing down from a day wrought with stress,
pressure was all it was,
I don’t laugh now,
since it all came true.
You were never a trusted friend,
you never held a place in my heart,
yet you still betrayed me,
you still stole all I was,
even though I never gave it to you,
even though it was never yours,
you bastard,
you fool,
do you realise what you’ve done,
what you made me into,
what you spawned upon this world,
you fain ignorance,
so be it,
meet what you have created,
meet your destruction.
Something wicked,
lurks in the shadows,
something twisted,
is shaping its hate,
something blackened,
is what’s become of its heart,
something evil,
is on its tongue,
something dark,
is taking over me,
something final,
is about to start.
Fathoms below your reach,
they spawn,
they grow,
building their kingdom,
strengthening their army,
waiting for the day,
when mankind must fall,
I see your look,
you think I’m mad,
lost all that there was to be had,
but I tell you this truth,
no lies have I ever told,
when they come for us,
I’ll be dead and cold,
long gone from this earth,
but you won’t have the luxury,
and you won’t have a hope.
You seek judgment,
you seek evidence,
you bring destruction to the destroyer,
you wanna hurt me,
you wanna break it,
when deep down inside you wanna be me,
I’m the cause of your affliction,
I’m the holder of your submission,
you come at me,
you better damn well bring your best game,
because I’m not old,
for just no reason,
I’m old because I’m the survivor.
Make me, she said,
make me feel again and it will all be yours.
I didn’t know what this all was,
but it didn’t stop me from trying.
I started slowly,
with a touch,
a caress.
She didn’t even fake interest,
next I kissed her softly,
she showed no signs of temptation,
then I pulled the knife from the table and placed it against her skin.
She looked at me,
there was no fear in her eyes,
she didn’t scream,
she did nothing,
even as I slowly skinned her of her flesh,
she just looked at me as though I wasn’t even there,
and as she bleed to death quietly in front of me I wondered,
what was this all,
and did it really matter?
Blades of glass,
piercing skin,
tearing open,
the blood within,
escaping,
flowing,
draining from its source,
which pumps repeatedly,
without remorse,
this perfect machine,
this body of mine,
killing me slowly,
its only a matter of time.
Whisperings,
words written in blood,
broken,
spirits above,
decaying,
rotting pieces of flesh,
endings,
beginning their dance,
slowly building,
towards its crescendo,
can you feel it?
As it thrusts harder against the wall,
trying to break through,
trying to kill,
us all.
A silent moment,
bathed in darkness,
starving my senses,
draining me,
killing me,
bury me deep,
encase me in dirt,
making into nothing,
let me be free.
Wishful thinking,
dreams floating through the air,
flying through the skies,
no prayers,
no cares,
but dreams end,
or become nightmares,
what is this?
A nightmare?
A dream?
Or just my reality?
my reality of me.
Subjected to your lies,
blinded by my eyes,
disenchanted,
no wishes granted,
filled with hate,
I wanna eradicate,
everything you stand for,
everything my eyes saw,
I’ll break you down,
I’ll remove your crown,
I’ll bury you deep,
in the forever sleep.
Star crossed at birth,
never meant to be,
never meant to see,
joining as one,
towards an ending,
an impossibility,
born from a beginning,
that should’ve never been,
perfection,
how can it be fought,
destinies wicked tentacles,
wrap around us,
as we share one last kiss,
before we end it all.
Seething,
writing,
agony,
broken,
is this who I am?
Is this me?
Is this my life?
Where have I been?
What have I become?
did I fall so far,
did I sink so low,
that I forgot,
I lost,
who I was,
and became,
who I am,
someone I don’t know…
See me stumble,
watch me tumble,
and as I fall downward,
do not ask why,
do not lay blame,
for you cannot truly know what I have seen,
where I have been,
for you failed to know me,
for you failed to see,
who I was,
and who,
I could truly be.
I still feel you,
deep inside,
like a disease,
spreading your decay,
killing all I am,
reshaping,
remaking,
destroying,
I don’t want to be not me,
but without me who will I be,
what will I become,
once your rot is done.
Doomed before the first breath,
victimized,
suffocated,
ridiculed,
born out of lies,
to separate,
defecate,
but not resuscitate,
the dead stay dead,
no second chances,
no saviours,
medicate,
desecrate,
forget those who stood here before you,
wipe memories of the past,
your religion is that,
yours not mine,
rise again,
say you’re a saint,
a god,
a marvel,
to me,
you’re just one lucky son of a bitch!
Separation,
saturation,
senses in a spin,
closed eyes,
open hands,
spread wide,
release me,
free my soul,
desecrate my remains,
burn them with the lies I’ve told,
burn all that I thought I was,
make me something,
make me worth more than I ever thought I was,
make me,
a man.
Buried deep,
below the skin,
underneath your soul,
it sits,
waiting,
darkness its friend,
watch,
through its eyes witness,
the falling,
the end,
all things that make you who you are,
witness,
breath,
relapse,
blood,
beating,
heart,
made of glass,
this is your last,
release.
What is, too much content?
What is, too many words?
What do we hope to gain from anything?
What are we after?
When we lose sight of what it is we’re doing,
we surrender ourselves to something more than what we are,
something of demeaning value,
where a like,
a comment,
rule all,
when all we want to do is create,
not for you,
or you,
or even you,
but for ourselves,
and when we find that place,
where we see the writing,
the words,
comes understanding,
and we say them aloud,
YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!
I deny you your judgment.
Lost in the tales,
you told me,
lost in the worlds,
you made me see,
worlds bathed in beauty,
worlds swallowed in fear,
I danced to music,
music that only I hear,
you marked in your darkness,
where I was protected from the light,
you made me your perfect child,
your perfect child of the night.