Tag: last to see

Silence lost in a sea of noise,

crumbling self loathing,

wanting to avoid,

we segregate and subdue ourselves,

we enslave,

we eschew,

imagination regulated to false hopes,

as the eyes tighten on their prize,

lies upon lies,

masks over masks,

a country at war with itself,

tired eyes sewn shut,

I want to,

but I can’t,

my cowardness beseech me,

my mirror self is mysterious to me,

there is a window we can all go through,

there is a door that must stay shut,

a hollow wall now broken,

a system withered away,

your odds are against me,

play dead,

play something…

they told me to prepare for the worst,

when the worst had already been,

but I pondered and prevailed in the face of the absurd,

migrated my own selfish ways,

lined the box with my lies,

created a vision of who I was,

hidden in the eyes of who hid inside,

it never worried those that cared,

but it scared that part that didn’t see,

blind aggression,

unrelenting rage,

a visage,

a vessel,

my body,

me,

I was,

I am,

my stories told through a hundred eyes,

a hundred versions of who I could be,

but none of them me…

A pale comparison,

words not said,

incomplete stories untold,

flooded with television images,

wire images granted life,

computer code written across the glass,

mathematical equations left lost in the sum of one,

I strive for a perfection,

I live midstream,

not swimming,

not much of anything,

oversaturated eyeliner,

pocket sized edition given away,

i saw myself in a reflection,

and I asked for an answer to my question,

my reply was lacking attention,

life though it never lasts…

whispering in the darkness is a voice that’s not mine,

splashing in the blueness of a sea within my mind,

a voice unlike an angel singing of divinity,

thumping beats from the heart forces colourless liquid throughout me,

a deception in my eyes,

truth within my lies,

for I am a silent victim,

and in the darkness I cry,

green eyes seeping tears,

a wetness beneath me,

my sadness set free,

filling the plenty that is not me,

watch the darkness cut open by the light,

shed your skin and live for life’s delights,

wish for sun covered surfaces,

fir tomorrow it is summer,

but today it is rain…

 

I called a moment,

a fragrance simmers in the light,

want waited without intent,

there comes a safe way,

we are trying to be more,

we recant and restrict,

vocal cries geared inside a driving force,

leather and lace,

weathered eyes,

pretty pulses slowing down,

wasted,

renewed,

I said words without hope,

I tried for my forgiveness,

I cried for me,

I wanted,

but it did not see the light,

I lost myself in the mirror image,

trying to reflect who I saw inside,

while who I was died on the outer,

who was I?

who am I?

who will I become?

who will I be?

I whisper to then inner me with wishes of immortality,

Kneeling on knees not worn,

Praying to gods with limited belief,

Swept up in anarchy,

Washed out to the sea by waves of nausea,

I beg to thee,

I cry to the very core of me,

All this fear coated in pain,

Loathing the other side,

Wanting  what is impossible,

Oh please piper of the sky,

Let me linger longer than the crevices that run along the palm of my hand,

Give me hope,

Let me be frivolous,

For the shell that houses all I am,

Is a withering husk,

Tormented by laugher of a child,

And the cries of the adult he has become…

fascinate the inner workings of a maniac in style over substance,

pushed inside the ceramic dish not served but over strained,

whiskey drinks,

futile things,

a harboured extension of the flaccid tool we dare not name,

forged alliances that could never be,

hand shakes,

cold embraces,

toxic waste drank without care or quandary,

we owned the shell of something different,

gaze upon me,

see without the eyes you’ve become accustomed to,

vanquished September mornings washed over by December coloured lies…

A disjointed fire sale,

Terminal disease,

Thoughtless whispers,

Heralded misogynistic portfolios,

Silently stagnant,

A window for a face,

Tread upon the stone covered moss,

Forgotten salutations,

Strive to be,

A sea,

A seed,

Hollowed imaginations,

A reflection not me..

Sickly sweat dripping from within,

A bitter machine without remorse,

Clandestine appendages lost to mistakes,

We pushed through worse,

Divergent paths reconnecting,

Softly was the sharpness of the blade used to slice away the flesh that was once mine,

You call yourself something more than what I see,

But wanting has changed the soul in which your body yearned,

A quintessential nothingness,

Drawn out on paper by a talentless hack,

You mirror reflects the abysmal deviations that your make up covers…

worshipped from a further void,

pre-loved without remorse,

haggard eyes sewn shut,

words spoken a moment late,

languished in the ever lost,

persistent against a time that is long gone,

wisdom given,

puzzles solved,

a futile argument won by the losing side,

a wisp of smoke,

forgiveness forgotten,

a hate seeded softly,

growth,

departure,

rudimentary procedures,

September mourning,

granite fixtures,

my name carved in the stone,

but my date not given..

This was written using Sammi Cox’s weekend writing prompt, the word this week was PRE-LOVED.

Mesmerised but not finalised,
A focus showed but not centred,
I called the name that was solidified but not understood,
We called,
Yet you didn’t want,
A plethora of infinite possibilities lost in the clasp of what is,
We called,
But you don’t come,
Significant changes lost on the path of one,
Call me,
See me,
Be what I want but not be,
A wisdom,
An ego,
Please see me,
Because the window I open is the one closed by you…

fabled,

castrated and alone,

a function no longer connected,

my alter broken as I start the fire,

changes coming through incessant mumbling,

my sweetest straw of rawness,

linguistic preservation lost in a rapid moment,

fleeting lost words from the song that’s sung,

holding me close,

yet not within,

I know your right,

when you said your words,

but it didn’t stop me from bathing in my lies,

while I swam in a sea of all you are,

ask me again,

watch my lies read true,

I couldn’t trust you,

because I’ve never trusted me…

who I am and was is lost inside this worm ridden carcass,

decaying flesh lathered over brittle bones,

I crave to be,

I want to be free,

but a cursed cross holds me under,

it’s message flippant in its words,

my measure less than it was before,

crippled intent,

hate a word soiled in regrets,

I was,

now I’m not,

faded in the memories of others,

shrouded in the touch of death,

words written in my name,

subjective thoughts without my interpretations,

your grief not mine,

the warmth of its glow,

finally I’m free….

 

This was written using Sammi Cox’s weekend writing prompt, the word this week was GLOW.

woven in the skin beneath my flesh,

is the words written for those that can see,

sewn into the underneath are rhymes destined to be,

I wrote a sonnet in summer,

I burnt it to keep warm in the cold,

it birthed itself in my nightmares,

flimsy recognitions,

windows in place of mirrors,

I kept the fire burning,

I worshipped the birds and bees,

fragmented sentences,

titillation of tendencies,

we gave,

we took,

pathetic lies stolen in our sleep,

I saw the image,

I gave it a name,

that name was me,

and I was it,

we were us,

one,

and all…

we made the devil do our deeds,

he was not intimidated,

for he was not a he,

a she,

a thing,

a them,

or a they,

he had no orientation,

but he had one we could see,

hidden in simplicity,

I gave the world a moment,

I showed the sun how to shine,

we saw,

we seen,

a vision of something new,

something old,

I wished,

I wrote,

tomorrow…

forgiven fantasies allow one to be,

a wish list,

hidden in the decay,

I wanted to know,

to see,

flesh underneath the sea of red,

who was I below,

a wanting,

a need to be free,

enclosed lies threatening to break,

a miracle minor,

lasting impressions,

phobias,

deceptive devices,

struggling to see,

a wardrobe malfunction,

three steps away from being me,

so dry your eyes then cover them up,

the next ride is going to be more than enough…

I saw a man who was not me,

his eyes were weary,

his smile was long,

a wisp of hair ran across his head,

his life seemed empty,

for he was dead,

but he called my name,

this decaying man,

he held a mirror that gave no reflection,

he held a mirror that was cracked,

the sea run red,

a splintered shard,

not glass but soul,

a necessary forgiveness,

a plot,

a goal…

we missed the moment when the world was bright,

we hid in the darkness,

we bathed in its night,

a fairy-tale story filled with deception,

weathered winters,

scorching sun,

a missing plot line,

a screw lose and lost,

we call the simple things,

we pray for the light,

but a day late,

a foot short,

a forever to regret…

a manic movement,

justified underneath,

flooded,

why am I,

stuck from the inside,

twisted intent,

weathered pain unverified,

hallowed words,

sober sorrow,

there was a moment,

I recalled the wisdom for it was collected in preparation,

For there was a day to come,

etched in a wayward way,

but in the end its just another lies,

something else that doesn’t come,

so fear me,

keep me,

why did I,

when I could,

or the older,

I’m young,

but aged,

be my parents,

or regret the end…

a credence given fly,

alone doesn’t seem the same,

a voodoo that isn’t me,

something that couldn’t be,

windows without doors,

houses without floors,

aside,

inside,

it stood beside me,

while I waited,

or did I,

maybe I was lost,

maybe I wasn’t anything,

degrade me,

be me,

I am nothing,

yet you be,

while I,

I am me…