To say my brother and I have had an eventful life would be putting it bluntly, you could say it started when we first escaped our mother’s womb, nine weeks earlier than planned. For that we spent the next three months in the intensive care unit of the baby’s ward at St Alban Children’s Hospital. The next few years of our lives had us in and out of hospital for a range of things but as we got older, we became stronger, my brother Jesse would tell you differently, but that’s because he’s more of a jerk than me, of course it’s not his fault, it’s just the way it all turned out.
But if I was to put my finger on the one thing that really changed our lives it would be when the Fargans moved in next door when we were thirteen and we met Dialla. Mum being the major nosey parker she was, could not let their arrival go without sticking her nose in the front door and inviting us all over for a welcome to the neighbourhood meal. The Fargans, of course, wanted nothing more than to be left alone and settle in to their new home, but they learned quickly Mum is a stubborn woman, so they agreed to the dinner and Mum relentlessly went about creating dishes for the night.
Half their belongings still hadn’t been unpacked when we arrived for dinner, so Mum went about directing traffic and getting Mrs Fargans ready for the night ahead, and that’s when we first saw her, Dialla. Her name was just about as unusual as she was, but both Jesse and myself were smitten, she looked like she just walked out of playboy, and our teenage hormones could not control themselves. Dinner was a disaster, with Mum taking every opportunity to embarrass us, but Dialla just smiled and batted those beautiful eyelids at us the whole time. After dinner Mum and Mrs Fargans disappeared off into the kitchen, while Dad and Mister Fargans shared a beer and talked about football and cars, it seemed they had a lot in common and became quick friends. As the years went on Dad and Mister Fargans, or Uncle Trev, as we ended up calling him, opened a mechanic shop together and ended up making it pretty successful.
But it was what happened next that changed that whole night, Jesse and I were left to awkwardly talk with Dialla, who after five minutes of awkward silence asked us excitedly if we wanted to see something awesome down in the cellar. Jesse and I didn’t hesitate to say yes, you see, when the Millers lived here this was a creepy place, but at the same time it was awesome, I had my first and only feel of Kelly Miller’s boobs in that cellar and Jesse, well he got to feel something a bit lower down, that all happened the week before the Millers left so the memories were still fresh in our minds, and I have to be honest, I was instantly erect when she took us down. Dialla had set up her room down there and it was like a studio apartment, with a silk curtain separating the room off from her bed. To start with she got Jesse and I to sit down and then she kisses both of us, full lounge and all, it was amazing. I made a mental note to make sure that when I was to write my memoirs that this room would be considered my good luck charm. She then proceeded to do a little dance and what happened next I’ll never forget.
“So how far have you boys been with a girl?” She asked.
“All the way,” Jesse blurted out, I looked at him quickly knowing he was a lying sack of shit.
“What about you Bobby? You been all the way?” She asked as she leans in towards me, I could see right down her top and I felt my erect penis twitch with excitement.
“Umm sure, hasn’t everyone?” I replied nervously, she just laughed.
“You boys know there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, don’t you?” she said laughing as she stepped behind the curtain. “Now, honestly, have you both been all the way with a girl?” She asked like a school teacher, we bother looked at the floor and said no in unison.
“I thought as much, well how about we change that,” she said, I came in my pants at that precise time, I’m pretty sure Jesse did as well, and she just laughed some more.
“Don’t worry boys, I’m still good,” she said as she came out from behind the curtain, both Jesse and my mouth’s dropped open, standing there was the most beautiful girl either of us had ever seen, and where it should have been nothing but hair, was a big, and when I say big, I mean huge, hard, penis. Jesse looked at me again and I could tell he was thinking the same thing I was, and we both ran home as fast as our legs could carry us.
It was pretty awkward for a while after that, it turned out that Dialla had a weird sense of humour and also enjoyed the occasional dress up, had we stayed around a bit longer or the light had of been better in the room, we would’ve realised it was a strap on dildo that she had on and not a real one. Of course we laughed about it, years later, and we got used to Dialla’s weird sense of humour, not to say it didn’t get us into a lot of trouble, because it did, and, eventually I even married the crazy woman, but I swear from that day on I never looked at playboy again.
The challenge was 2 young kids find something in the neighbours basement, think I nailed it.