They all sit around the table, no one really knows what to say or do, so they all just sit there as he tears into the sandwich like someone who hasn’t eaten for several days. He looks up from the food, his cloudy, lifeless eyes look over his family and he smiles a dirty, rotten smile.
“What’s everyone looking at? Haven’t you seen someone eat a frekin sandwich before?” He asks.
“I-I-I-It’s not the sandwich Wilhelm, its you, y-y-y-your dead,” Lukas says as he looks at his brother.
“Don’t seem like I’m dead, in fact I feel better than I ever have, you on the other hand, you look old, and so do the sprouts,” he says as he stuffs the sandwich into his face again.
“It’s because you’ve been dead for eight years.”
He chokes on his mouthful of sandwich and spits it back out, onto the plate. “Eight years? Bullshit?”
“Why the hell would I lie to you?”
“Because you’re a penis breath, that’s why, so where the cameras? When’s everyone going to jump out and say, got you Uncle Wilhelm!”
“It’s not going to happen, because, you’ve really been dead for eight yours, but not only that, what I don’t understand is you were cremated, how in the hell can you be here if you were cremated?”
Wilhelm stares at his brother through dead eyes, as his brain tries to turn over, as it tries to piece together what he’s been told and then he takes another large bite of the sandwich. “How the fuck should I know, I woke up in some shitty hotel and realised where I was, so I thought I’d come over for a surprise visit. Besides Alice fainting, the kids screaming and you wetting yourself, I thought it was a good visit so far,” he says as he flashes another rotten smile.
“So you don’t remember anything else about how you got here?”
“Didn’t I just say that?”
“I know, I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page.”
“Fuck the same page, if I’m supposed to be dead what the hell am I doing waking up in some fucked up hotel, hungrier than I’ve ever been before?”
“That would be my fault,” a voice says from the doorway, they all turn to see a woman, standing against the door, her hair a mixture of red, pink and green, bright purple lipstick covers her lips and a multicolour rainbow covers her eyelids.
“Gwen?” Wilhelm says.
“Who the fuck is Gwen?” Lukas asks as he gets to his feet, “What the hell have you done to my brother?” he says, she grabs him by the throat and stares at him with her black, soulless eyes.
“Paying a debt, you should be so lucky, enjoy the time with your brother, because soon the hunger will take over.” Lukas gasps for breath as she releases her grip and smiles towards Wilhelm, “We are even now.”
“Did we need to be?” Wilhelm asks as he shoves the remainder of the sandwich into his mouth.
“Pig, you weren’t going to escape me in death like you did in life, I will have the last laugh, and it will be the loudest,” she says as she disappears into the darkness of the night, he lets out a maggoty burp and rubs his stomach as it lets out a groaning noise as he feels his hunger build.
“Tell me you’ve got something else in this house I can eat? Because I could eat a baby elephant right now.”
The challenge was, ‘Uncle Wilhelm is back.’