Castrate the guilty for pleasure,
fertility of the empty glass,
an ending without a beginning,
succulent visitations given to the fowls,
replace and reverse,
take the beginning back to the end,
somehow there comes the inevitable,
the darkness,
the indignity,
trying to steal what is left away from who I was,
from who I could be,
seething without,
boiling,
bubbling,
overflowing,
hold on to whatever you see fit to hold,
for the winds of the never takes hold,
and no one is free from its snarl!
A kingdom for the silence I crave,
A minute,
A fleeting minute,
How do it would be welcomed than to hear the constant hissing in my ear of her voice,
The one who fell before my axe,
I know she is not really there,
I know she rots I the garden,
Feeding the worms,
I see her eyes in the flowers every year as they bloom,
But her voice still rings true in my ears,
Whispering words of dread,
Promises that will one day come true,
Promises of what she’ll do to me,
After they are through with my flesh,
Who are they I always scream,
But she just laughs,
She just laughs…
Sufferage,
The few,
The many,
On winds of gruesome failures comes its curse,
A sweet tooth,
A bitter lie,
Something to remember,
Another thing to forget,
There is no forgiveness,
Your existence eternally scared from the first time you opened your eyes,
Fearing all that exists around you,
Destined to be but a footnote in a story that is not yours,
Or mine,
So cherish your moment,
Live like the world is ending,
And bleed your all into today,
For tomorrow,
Is not yours,
Or mine,
But theirs,
And there is so many of them,
And only the two of us,
Or is there just you?
Wings attached with wire to your hagged flesh hinder your vision,
for the pain of forever is yours,
while the pain of now is nothing,
your sickness is not known,
for you are nothing but a fictional mascot in my eye of madness,
we sit,
we see,
I sit,
I see,
I am me,
you,
you smile,
a forever smile,
a sin,
why cry when sadness is not,
forgive the failure,
procrastinate the flesh and blood,
cut,
separate,
for tomorrow,
like yesterday,
is neither yours to control,
or yours to live…
Halfway through my everything,
Was all I ever had,
Nothing I had was nearly complete,
Soulless sins now haunt me,
Evaded criticisms list in the unruly sarcastic nature of life,
Repent to your higher power,
Captivate your own satisfaction,
Whilst castrating your own tomorrow with the lies of yesterday,
A sea,
Washing away,
A river,
Drowning in its waters,
A tale of terror,
A mythical emptiness,
A lie void of sin,
The truth a horrible fact,
My words overflowing,
My heart on my sleeve,
A simplistic desire,
A predatory fact,
Watch in the shadows,
For that’s where I’m at!
Worship the gospel of those that purpose fact,
But realise that within their words are lies hidden without remorse,
For they encourage your questions,
They foster your deceit,
So in your hour of desperation they can strengthen your resolve to their beliefs as they treat you like sheep,
Follow the leader was once a game played in the school yard,
But in the big wide world its used to keep us all in a line,
Separated and segregated,
Controlled by their unknown hand,
Like children,
Like cattle,
Empty shells on the shore of life,
Their hand is your hand,
Your hand is their hand,
And their hand controls all!
Suddenly the light is hypnotising,
Sending me packing right back,
To the moment that you sent be jacking,
Turning my veins to mud,
With this drug you called loved,
But I call it poison,
As I ended my life as a person,
Developing zombie like qualities,
Empty gazes,
Slurring phrases,
Dragging leg,
Hanging head,
Mesmerised,
As life passes me by,
The simplicity of what we are,
The flowers of addiction,
The hidden meanings,
The lies,
How time flies,
Words riddled with faults,
What you called love,
I called poison,
What you called intimacy,
I called a needled!
You say you need,
You say you never,
You use me,
You abuse me,
I want something more,
Give me something real,
Make me feel,
And I’ll give you what you need,
I’ll turn it into a want,
I’ll turn you into a freak,
You’ll suffocate without me,
So use me,
Abuse me,
Drain me,
Sedate the need,
While I slowly infect you,
Rearranging the field of the play,
As the victim becomes the tormentor!
The bride of my sinister side returned tonight to pledge an ending to what was and is,
Her lies opened eyes wide with inconceivable distress,
As my world cracked beneath the pressure of inconsistencies unexplained,
Satisfaction never guaranteed when the weather is so unpredictable,
Watch as the whiskey spills from my glass and turns into flames that begins eating my life away,
Suffocate the air from my lungs,
Suck it all away,
Take it all away,
Leave me empty,
Leave me like you found me,
Just a dead boy buried in the ground…
Hello,
I just thought I’d call to see if you’re okay,
I know it’s been a little while,
I know I’ve been away,
The tides of time,
The sea of sand,
The days may pass us by,
But there isn’t a day,
There isn’t a moment,
That you don’t pass my mind,
A forever was promised,
A day was all,
Only memories do remain,
But as time goes,
So does my memories,
For I remember you,
I remember how you made me feel,
But I forget what you looked like,
Are you dead or have you just gone away?
You weep without tears,
You scream without sound,
You dance without motion,
But you spin round and round,
A reflection distorted in the light,
A mirror that shows you the truth,
A veil was lifted,
A mask was removed,
A lie was untold,
The truth still remained unknown,
A light,
A motion,
A dance to a song,
A forever unforgiven,
A tomorrow that will now never come!
A dance out of sync,
Words sung without tune,
As the illusion fades and reality shows its grand plan,
The kiss that was planted is shown how it feed into the lies that were said,
One after another,
Hand in hand did they swing,
A yes that really was a no,
An answer that was lost in a riddle,
For the one who answered it all was the one who asked the first question,
Limp readings lost in the rush of blood to an empty vessel,
A tomorrows light,
Sorrow,
Misbegotten things,
Let the ants run free,
Let the knife cut,
Let the darkness shine through..
Simplified expressions torn in two,
Sad eyes looking back at you,
Cold hands that are not yours,
Tighten around my throat,
A path forged in a lie,
Hidden beneath the blind eye,
Turned not once but twice,
A shame of serendipity dancing in the freshly fallen rain,
A sure hand void of strength,
What once beat now weeps,
A song sung to the children,
But falling on the deaf ears of adulthood,
While I carry myself upon my own shoulders,
Let the loneliness not be mine,
As I stumble down this hill of despair and into the darkness of a better tomorrow…
Within the coldness of winter,
There is the emptiness of its call,
Within the warmth of summer,
There is the emptiness of its call,
Within the hidden world inside my head,
There is the emptiness of its call,
Do not mock my words,
Do not treat me as a lesser,
Do not make fun of my schism,
For I hear what you disregard,
I notice that which you look past,
I feel what you have built callouses against,
Tomorrow,
Today,
Yesterday,
The harmony of ignorance,
Dispel what you are made to understand,
And accept the truth,
Accept the reality of what actually is all,
Accept your mirror without reflection,
a window through my eye…
A self styled stigmata,
A stolen smile from the childless,
Infinity dragging my insides across the stars,
An eternal reflection in the mirror of you empty eyes,
A thousand twisted thoughts ravaged deep inside,
Years of endless torment,
Itself a loss of perfection,
Choking on the saliva of self doubt,
Resign your end,
Forget,
Forgive,
Forever,
Spread the arms of acceptance open and take in the embrace of what can now be,
But beware,
For the embrace my be cold and damp,
The embrace my be empty,
The embrace may be your final embrace,
It may be its embrace….
Consider what my eyes hold,
My social stature non-exists,
My self worth a lie upon itself,
Miss understood by my own mind I lay here alone in my hole dug by my own hands,
Secreting a pheromone mildly toxic,
The world trembles as it falls,
My voice not heard,
My frame not ample,
A window instead of a mirror,
An ego without understanding,
Subject my lies,
Refuse my eyes,
Let me realise,
That tomorrow,
My tomorrow,
Means more to me than it does to you,
For your tomorrow will still exist,
If mine does not,
But if your tomorrow fails to be there,
It matters little to you,
If mine does…
Twisting my frail form in something malfunctioning,
Recognising the glass in the window but not the face,
Seeing all my mistakes for what they truly are,
Evolving into the next movement,
Revolving on the merry-go-round formed from lies believed,
Dying slowly as the sickness inside eats away,
Synchronising the hands of time with that of my worthless watch,
Shuffling through the deck that has been dealt,
Suffocating for air,
Saturating my everything,
Erasing all that time had put in place,
A smile,
Your face,
Tears wiped away,
Fears locked away,
Eyes empty,
Had I know your were never here,
I never would’ve waited for you to go!
Eventually,
Everything we see turns black,
Can’t you see,
The insanity,
Building up,
Inside of me,
Inside of you,
Tearing at,
Our frail skin,
Making us,
Something new,
Something wrong,
Can’t you see,
The insanity,
THE INSANITY!
Lasting lies,
Clawing at your eyes,
Making vows,
Breaking them,
Pissing on,
Everything,
What is this,
What is that,
Nothings wrong,
Nothing right,
Can’t you see,
Your insanity,
Is killing me,
Is killing you,
To killing all,
We’ve ever know,
Can’t you see?
The insanity,
THE INSANITY!
Your skin,
I thought I was sinking in,
I thought we were connection,
Instead we were changing,
Pulling beneath the surface,
Something I can’t see,
Strings tied effortlessly to my tendons,
My nerves your piano keys,
It’s haunting to feel but not,
As one moment passes to another,
Like a ghost living inside a house made of someone else skin,
A room,
A wound,
Eyes to see the world move without me,
Constantly burning my light,
Sucking my sinful soul dry,
I thought it was your skin I was sinking in,
I thought we were connecting,
What I thought was a lie,
What I thought,
My thoughts lie,
My thoughts of you lie,
My thought of you die!
Paid imitations of what you thought you could be,
But in the mirror your reflection is just as fucked up as me,
You tried to be something new,
But you couldn’t escape you,
Rotting flesh on a decaying skeleton,
Movement more of an illusion than something real,
Feelings painted with a forked brush,
Lies on a wall of lies,
Pictures hanging on the wall,
Of people you don’t know,
A reflection in the mirror,
A reflection more fucked up than me,
A reflection of you!