Okay, another week, and something new, again. I’m not sure if I got this one or not, but, I’ve had a good smash at it. Summer Storm was the theme, and the poem form is a rondelet, and the image is, below.
photo ©Fir0002
I close my eyes,
As the clouds move slowly in,
I close my eyes,
For I cannot watch her as she cries,
Her tears begin to soak into my skin,
Slowly washing away the remains of my sin,
I close my eyes.
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What was I thinking here with this?
Does it meet the challenge?
These are questions, that we all want answer to, maybe this, quick short below will help.
I fall to my knees, into the dirt,
her blood, still over my hands,
I hear the clap of thunder,
how strange it would happen now,
after I all that came before,
I look up into the oncoming storm,
and open my arms out wide,
closing my eyes and embracing the cleansing of the storm.
I think you could get a story out of this one. There’s a menace in it that goes well with the stormy theme. I think you maybe have a few too many beats in some of the lines. You could easily fiddle them into eight beats if you wanted to.
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I like this. It’s quite dark, feels like there’s more to this story…
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I felt like there was something, hiding in the words, maybe, I’ll revisit it and find out what needs to be said.
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Look forward to seeing it!
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