Now that we’re all on the same page, and you’ve caught up to where I’m at let’s get to the business at hand.
Chinaman started spewing some shit about the end of days, how he was going to take the family business in a new direction and partnerships like the one his brother Jackie had with Killdone was gonna be a thing of the past.
I started yelling at him about how this wasn’t his country and no one would allow a slant-eyed fucked like him run the city. Seemed he didn’t like my comment, in fact I think it pissed him off, which was exactly what I wanted.
The fucker showed me his Kung-Foo moves, assisted by a thumping Daft-as-fuck-Punk soundtrack to boot. Sadly for China the only thing that connected was his ball’s and my twelve-inch boot, steel-cap first of course.
He when down like a sissy girl taking her first anal insertion from a fifteen inched Maui surfer dude with a itty bitty loin cloth covering his snake in the grass.
That’s when Jackie’s boys showed up ready to take me down to funky town, they figured it’s best to keep to their own skin tone, even if Chinaman’s was a bit greener than normal.
They moved in unison, one quickly following the other like Miley Cyrus’ neatly shaved snatch in that wrecking ball film clip. You all know the one I’m talking about, of course we all remember it more because Ron Jeremy ended up doing it better in his piss take version and he didn’t even need to get his massive cock out.
Anyway, they came at me screaming shit in whatever language they mastered their tongue in, besides knob shining that is. I drove the heel of my foot into the head of the first, then used his overly large blade, seems the fella felt he need to compensate for a tiny dick, to behead the next guy who was in my reach.
That’s when the first shot ripped into my shoulder, the second wasn’t that far behind it. I hit the dirt like a piece of well placed dog shit on the neighbor’s front lawn.
I scrambled to my feet as Jet Li showed up on my back, sinking his girl like teeth into the back of my neck. Lucky for me I’d been in a lot of fights with the opposite sex so I knew where her weakness was, and scruffed her by the hipster bun she had on her head and pulled her over the top, then drove two well placed punches to each of her tits and the lost my shoe in her snatch. China decided it was time to get back in the mix and slashed off to the left with a tiny cue stick, I felt the blade tear across my face like a winters breeze and that’s when the lights started to go out.
Chinaman must’ve laced the blade with something special…