Tag: schizophrenia

Ghosts of the past haunt my twisted mind,

Lost between a wanted heaven and a self-imposed hell,

Let’s take a breath and just breathe,

Just breathe,

For the soft embrace you give is grander than the coldness that death promises me,

Wishful moments lost in a deceptively confused time that cries for sense,

But offers no escape only silence,

Without a voice,

Only the endless darkness,

Without hope,

Without a destination,

How much can I ask for,

When nothing is all I have,

For everything that ever mattered has gone away,

Let’s just take a breath and just breathe,

Just breathe,

Until you cannot…

The drugs sedate all of the fears,

For now I go forward completely understanding the dangers before that face me as I go forward,

As the curse of who we are plays its hand,

Stay with me,

Let you be the last thing I see,

Nothing you can take,

Something only you can give,

Let the light shine one last time on us,

Let the world show its wonders before I go,

Stay with me,

Let you be the last thing I see,

Nothing you can take,

Something only you can give,

Let the waves wash over me,

As I take my last moments,

As we make our last memories of you and me,

For the children we once were are now gone,

And now the silence has come,

Stay with me,

Let you be the last thing I see,

Stay with me,

Nothing you can take,

Something only you can give,

Stay with me,

Let you be the last..

A whisper in the dark,

A tale told in secret,

A wonderous story of eruptions,

A sorrowful wail of pain,

The ebbs and flows of life itself written in the blood of humanity,

Repeated,

Passed on,

Spread like a disease to the next who has never heard the words of its magnificent journey,

The child,

The princess,

The saviour,

How she climbed the mighty hills,

Battled her way over the walls of the decaying castles as it looks pathetically over the lands it once ruled,

How she fought with valour and rightfulness,

And the evil did fall at her feet,

The land exploded with life,

While inside she decayed,

And then like a broken mirror she reflected all the hate that twisted inside her poisoned form onto the world beyond her flesh,

Only to have the serpent of infinity come back around and complete its twisted ends,

For sickened queen,

The wicked bitch,

The once sweet princess with golden hair did meet her end on the sword that she once used…

Delicate hands twist violently around the throats of supposed threats,

Visions of deceitful intent cascading through the mind’s eye,

Ignorance of the truth,

Blinded by the lies that spread themselves through your thoughts,

Disregarding the facts Even when the fiction is so obvious,

You lie to yourself to continue on,

For without your lies,

Without your self-deception,

You are nothing but an empty shell,

A husk of the warrior you once was,

A child born to rise to the top of the hill,

Only to fall back down again by your own hand,

A child,

A warrior,

A princess,

A queen,

A liar,

An emptiness never to be filled…

Clean the rot from within with a fork as we drive away the infection of our own self,

A self more like a disease than a being we trust to hold control over our reality,

For the forever we are is only found through the wisdom of inner peace and acceptance,

But with all things a wisdom earned is never granted to those who do not fight for the luxury of sleep,

For in the depths of deep sleep do we find true conversations with the being who hides beneath all the lies and layers of rotting flesh,

Diseased mould,

Spoiled soul,

Soiled pants,

Tonight’s our finale dance,

Because death has come looking for the queen with the palest eyes…

Prophesies associated,

Fermented beverages a plenty,

The victims lined up like unaware ducks in a barrel,

Saint Maria closes her eyes,

The world bleeds,

all too late do they see the lies,

Sacrificial lambs to the slaughter,

Brandished weapons as the motivators,

Deception from those we idolise,

Fucking too dumb to realise,

The victims line themselves up unaware of the surprise,

Saint Maria closes her eyes,

The shots are fired,

As the world cries,

We suffocate our children in their beds at night,

We act all brave while we stand in the light,

But as soon as the sun goes down and we’re faced with the realities of a fucked up society,

We back away like cowards unable to control our ruptured anxiety,

Saint Maria closes her eyes,

The blade tears at the flesh,

As the darkness begins to rise,

Saint Maria closes her eyes,

While the beast grows its army,

Saint Maria closes her eyes,

To shield her from its gaze,

Saint Maria closes her eyes,

As the world dies…

Sacrificed humanity for a kingdom lost,

A wickedness so beautiful,

A sadness so mournful,

A child lost to adulthood,

A princess who became a queen,

A tomorrow that had so much potential,

A today that suffers from within,

Deceivers a many,

My cries not heard,

As my soul burns away,

Sucked into the emptiness of life as it is,

A void filled darkness of nothingness,

Screaming our names,

But they are only memories,

Of passages and people long forgotten,

Though the scars remember,

For even though they heal over in time,

Their roots twist and bind themselves to the very being,

The create,

Something,

Someone new,

Who do your scars make you out to be?

Is who you are beneath them all the same child you once were?

Or are you the monster we have always known you to be?

Shed a tear and turn out the light,

For bitter queen,

Fairest lord,

Your sword will be your own undoing…

The wilderness of a fate that has no end begins somewhere,

Yet the answered questions still leave themselves open for more,

A disturbance that has no real folly,

A joke that has not punch line,

A rule without reason,

The blood that flows has no significance,

The deaths of nihilism resets themselves in eyes of others lost to time,

Foreshadowing,

Ever approaching,

Never ending,

Twisted madness,

A simple moment of weakness,

A tale to be told of a kingdom pure in gold,

And a queen who bathed in the blood of those who made her…

Raise the arms of destruction,

Resuscitate the fallen,

Sever the hidden,

Futile attempts give answers where they were not before,

Questions never asked for fear of answer,

Answered,

See for the lies involved,

Tomorrow destined to be,

Yesterday without purpose if lost in the forever of what was,

Sickness inevitable,

Servitude worthlessness,

Winter is coming for the queen,

As her mirror image reverberates from the past,

And the pale princess comes to kill the queen…

Washed away in a sea of disrepair was a wisdom lost before its time,

Deep with a radiant light that warmed everything thing it touched,

As it washed away the pain spread across all I was,

Everything screamed in one voice,

Crying for the loss,

Tears of self-hatred,

Regret,

Suffocating,

Denial,

Blame,

The game turns its head,

The eyes find a target that is not oneself,

And the fire burns towards its victim,

The pale queen,

The privileged child,

The one who must die,

For us all to survive…

Sorrowful wisdom hangs from the executioners gallows,

A blade drenched in the sins of all who it has fallen upon,

Sickness a forgone lie lost in the excuses made by an imaginary god,

Rise up and accept the fate you are destined to reach,

Each step leads to the next without fail,

Stop hiding the false tales behind the curtains of truth,

The emptiness in her eyes are not because of what has been,

But what they have seen,

Tomorrow will be another step towards the inevitable,

Slay the queen before she feasts upon you….

Skin the flesh and wear it as a suit,

Give the world a new face to hate,

While the old withers in the hole you buried it in,

Salvation is a myth,

The devil exists,

God never had control,

New face,

Same soul,

New name,

Same hate,

Destiny never gave me anything,

The bitter hand I have was of my own creation,

Everyone else said I’d be something,

I was the one who decided I wasn’t,

Another hand takes the wheel,

Another controlling voice,

Just like the face that’s not be mine,

Neither is my fate,

For on this road we all travel madness is not yours to own..

Overture of progression,

Sanctimonious bullshit prevails,

Judgment of the wicked,

A slippery slope do we sail,

Downwards into the abyss,

Below anything we have ever felt,

The pale princess now sits on a throne of blood,

Held together by the bones of those she’s fell,

Worship this falling thing,

Shed a tear for what she was,

For what she has lost and know that as the killers fall in around her,

Not all will live to tell the tale of her fall…

I purpose a question of minuet reflection bathed in the light of innocence, a question that is answered with no fear of remorse, I do not judge you by where you stand or by how you look, I judge you by what is deep inside, my question reveals none of what I need to know and everything all at once, look away if you must, hide away your true self in a lie, but know that a lie will see you die just the same, rather than face the exodus of forever in a skin that is not yours, wear your true face and suffer for your sins, now bow before me, bow before your queen, for the princess so pale, is now filled with something more, something bitter…

Foreign bodies clothed in deceit, sorrow, constitute my undoing while vomiting the paternal resentment of oneself, see the flames lick the flesh, feel it wash away the scars of yesterday, building the walls of victory bathed in blood, take the steps ahead without remorse, feed the beast that lay at your feet for it will show no fear on the eve of death if it is loyal only to thee, remove the coat made from your sins and step into the light of destiny, the pale man knows not what he gathers, for he only gathers not absorbs, be the tomorrow yesterday wishes you to be, to become…

Transmutation of a wickedness that seems unrelenting, a soulful banshee that once had a voice all its own that suddenly stopped only to be replaced by a harrowing nothingness that persuades a repetition of unforgivable actions upon us all, self-sacrificing withering worms slithering between the now and worthlessness of a tomorrow that never seems to be, venom of another sister twisted inside, loathing herself for what she must be, become the beast that must call forth the demonic version of a world that once was, forever the sinner, forever the father, lie, lay, die, say, see me for what I say I am and not what your eyes see me as..

Satisfying alternatives to an unreasonable request, implementation of a new style, regurgitating something older than before, masking the worship with new colours, fermented waters warm with age, lost moments forgotten with time, tomorrow is a mirage of salty proportions, escalating into a wave of whimsical decadence, a new form of prohibition, designed to suffocate, handed up from the streets below, instead of the laws above, recklessly ignored by the wealthy, until their doors are broken open by the princess who would be king!

Laminate the destiny within me, show the world this version of who I forever should be, deceive the wicked with the smoke born of a thousand mirrors, reflect my commandments into the mind if killers, spoil the wicked, saturate the pure, suffocate the godly, alienate and purify, raise the guilty about them all with purpose, to kill them all, the beautiful princess, the ugly troll, the battered harpy, the dying mole, the evil queen, the wicked witch, the crying woman, the lying bitch, the nothing, the borrowed, the ashes, the knife, the visions that run around in my head at night, feed it all to them in spoonfuls of hate, prise the septa from her hand, disembowel the queen and take her land, a fitting version to have as  the ending, to let the princess rise to the throne, but add my twist and the spill her blood also..

Sinister moments in fabricated worlds of disillusionment, self-created pockets of nothingness, invented to protect, but I was so wrong, my fate forgone, a reveal, a truth, a nothing forgotten when need, day the same as yesterday, a forgotten something, a hair mistakenly cut, a stranger born before me with eyes familiar, a former sin returned upon me, my fate forgone, a reveal, a truth, something given without thought, a lost proclamation, a new mutation, a fantasy world beneath my feet, another insulting slur against my insecurities complete, fractured fairy tales without any morals, my fate forgone, a reveal, a truth, a step beyond the once closed-door..

A mirror reflected upon itself give birth to a violent new way, decisive delusions are shown volatile in the mirrored emptiness, cracks cascade across the glass as it is touched by the suns ray, impossible lies told to hide an unimportant patheticness, a wanting that grows with each passing day, we swallowed down the hate of our own forgiveness, imitating strangers with our awkward display, we see the lie of time and how it doesn’t heal the ridicule of loneliness, a smile with show doesn’t reflect the undercurrent of decay, our silence given to others is its own unhappiness, a mirror reflected upon itself gives birth to the truth we cannot say, our self judgment is the hardest judgment to escape from……