Lowest Common Denominator – Short Story

“What do you mean you don’t understand what a clusterfuck is? This, this right now is a cluterfuck Johnny, does that help?”

“I get that you’re implying things are a mess, all I’m asking is what a clusterfuck actually is. You know, is it an actual real thing,” Johnny says, his face showing no signs of emotion. Sal stares at him with heaving nostrils drawing in breath after powerful breath, his left eye twitches sporadically.

“Are you a fucking moron?”


“It’s s simple question Johnny. Are you A FUCKING MORON!”

“I have no idea where you’re going with this, or what you’re implying. All I simply as….”

“I’m not going anywhere, or implying anything. I’m simply stating you’re a fucking idiot, nothing more or less. With everything being as it is right now, focused minds are needed. When someone of your supposed stature in this new community asking not only an idiotic question, but one that even the slowest of the slow would not ask I have to start wondering just how you managed to ascend to such a position within this landscape,” Sal barks as he launches himself from his seat and slams fists into the table before him. The room falls silent and eyes quickly shoot from Sal and fall onto the motionless Johnny.

Sal smiles a wry, meek smile and let’s out a muffled laugh. “My poi…” he doesn’t get to finish his words as Johnny moves quickly across the room and crashes into Sal, sending him to the ground. He lies there powerless to move as Johnny digs a knee powerfully into Sal’s throat.

“I may not be you smart. Hell, I may not be lowest common denominator smart. But I can kill, and I can kill without regret,” he says as he release his grip and gets to his feet. “Remember that next time you’re feeling clever brainiac. Because no matter how smart you are up here,” he says thumping his head with his left thumb. “No one gets a second chance with this,” he adds as he flexes his gigantic biceps and snarls.

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