Tag: Humor

  • Goodbye To 2020TOO

    Goodbye To 2020TOO

    And we’re done…

    2020TOO is now a thing of the past, memories forgotten already, much like many of those that have been and gone before this day, and may will be gone after.

    We have ventured down a turmoiled road, that wasn’t as smooth as we had hoped.

    Many ideas became lost in the mix of what was, and what is, with some not even making it to print or paper.

    But regardless of all that, the core idea was completed without fail.

    For 365 days something new was created each day.

    Ideas were born.

    Stories were told.

    Blood was spilt.

    and most importantly, fun was had!

    What does 2023 hold for us all, only time will tell, but to see it out as we kiss our shattered reflection into the new year, I share with you a couple of the short stories that have made themselves part of our last journey for 2022, the kiss for new year’s eve.

    Until next time, be you, because you hold the key to your own existence, and that makes you a god in your world, never let anyone else tell you different.

    Matt

  • Let’s Celebrate 6 years!

    Let’s Celebrate 6 years!

    Six years ago I had this idea, it was crazy at first, and became even more unhinged as it progressed.

    For that idea, insanity was born upon a road.

    This blog is that road.

    This twisted road of madness.

    Fitting that Friday the 13th is the day we celebrate this journey.

    Let us see how long we can continue this ride for, as infinity is beyond the horizon, and that is where we are headed.

    Matt

  • Welcome to 2020TOO

    Welcome to 2020TOO

    And we are BACK!!

    What does this mean for you, me and the walls of Jericho? Who knows, but what I do know, is that the world is constantly changing, and the pandemic that has gripped ours lives so vividly by the throat, has created many a new detail to deal with.

    2020TOO is not just a rehash of an idea, it is a reinvention. The stories will, as before, be pieces of a bigger puzzle. But we will also see the return of things I had fun with the first time around, things I wanted to get happening again, but never found the time.

    Just like the beginning of 2020, 2020TOO will starting off with 20 x twisted stories and 20 x unhinged dark twisted poems, and one or two 500+ word stories thrown in here and there for good measure. Regardless of the structure, you will once again see something each and every day, with the prospects of something pretty at the end of each month, to celebrate the month gone.

    Yes it’s GOD DAMN true, we are on a run for another 365 days of madness.

    The insanity of the insane, is once more at your fingertips while the world falls apart around us.

    Dare you journey with me again?

    Do you dare throw your hat into the ring for a ride with the madness once more?

    Will we find something wonderful, or will it all be mud?

    See my insanity, and touch it with yours…

    Matt

  • Some Seconds After – A Short Story For My Mum

    Some Seconds After – A Short Story For My Mum

    In the early hours of the morning, on the 15th of December 2020, my Mother released her hold on this mortal coil, and passed peacefully in her sleep. You could say the timing was by her hand, and she was from all accounts pain free, unlike the months prior. She was stoic in every way throughout the process, once given the facts that her fate was written to paper and not an eventual thing that will happen to us all. I had only a handful of conversations about it with her, not because I didn’t have the chance to, but because the necessity was not there. I love my Mum, and miss her everyday, but I know one day I will see her again. I’m not religious, I don’t have a belief structure that I follow, but I know there is something after this.

    This story is for my Mum, it is how I like to believe things took place on that morning.

    I love you Mum xoxoxo

    Matt

    She stands before the doorway, silently watching as they move around her in what one may mistaken for some nickel and dime theatre companies latest abstract masterpiece.  She squeezes her tongue through her purse mouth, wringing whatever moisture from it, as she tries to wet her dry cracked lips.

    “Why do I still hurt?” she hisses with a scowl upon her face.

    “You have not lifted the pen from the paper yet my dear. For you are not really feeling pain, you are just imagining it hurts because that is how your mind has become trained. It will take time to forget, but you will, once you lift the pen.” he says with a soft smile, as he grasps her shoulder tightly.

    She looks over to him as she rests a hand on his, and gives it a squeeze, then looks back to the others with eyes shrouded in sorrow. “Will they be okay?”

    “That is no longer your burden to carry anymore. Let them go, so you can as well.”

    “B-B-But, I’m not ready to,” she says as she looks to him with tears in her eyes. “I-I-I, I don’t want to be forgotten. I-I-I, I don’t want them to forget me.”

    “They will grieve, and in that grief, in that pain, they will prosper and they will NEVER forget. For in death, grows the perfection of the eternal memory, where we are remembered forever by those we love, and who love us,” he says as he gestures to the air before them.

    “But what of the pain I still have? What of my grief for them?”

    “It will prevail, and over time it will heal. Although unlike those you have left behind, you have the knowledge they do not, you know what awaits. You have the forever of tomorrow to look forward to, and when they pass, they will join you here. They will join all of us, one day, but for now,” he says as he holds a hand out for her to take. “It is time for you to go.”

    She looks back at them, and places a hand against her chest, clutching herself tightly. “I-I-I, I don’t want to GO!”

    “No one ever does, but it is time, and time has a finite path. The others are waiting,” he says.

    She looks back over to him as her eyes widen, “A-A-Are they all there? E-Everyone?”

    He smiles, “Everyone is there, and they all can’t wait to see you.”

    She looks back and allows a soft smile to gently caress her lips, then turns and takes his hand.

    “How long will it all take?”

    “How ever long it takes,” he replies with a smile as he pushes open the doorway and they step out into the hall. She manages to turn just as the door closes and catches one last glimpse of the body that housed all she was for the last seventy years, and waves goodbye, then looks up into her father’s eyes and smiles.

    He nods his head towards a bright light at the end of the hall. “Race you there!” he says, as he looks down at the little girl all dolled up in her pink dress. She giggles loudly as she races off, towards her forever tomorrow…

  • The Incessant Insanity Of 2020 – Daily Grind

    The Incessant Insanity Of 2020 – Daily Grind

    What a year it has already been, surely we are almost into 2021, and some sort of freedom from the disaster 2020 has been, right?

    I can’t believe that the year, a year where I thought new horizons would be a grand design, has shat itself so terribly.

    Jobs have tumbled, wealth has nose dived, and the insanity of the human design has sky-rocketed to the tenth degree.

    I write about madness, and insanity, but one doesn’t expected the real world beyond our fractured minds to be reflecting those catastrophic images.

    Mankind should be stronger.

    Mankind should be kinder.

    It is a world for one and all.

    Not a world for none.

    Resist.

    Reset.

    And forgive.

    Let’s make 2021 a better year.

    And put fiction back on the pages, and not on the streets.

    For you are all so beautiful.

    Now, back to your normal programmed posts…

    Matt

  • Let’s Make It Something Special 20/20 – Daily Grind

    Let’s Make It Something Special 20/20 – Daily Grind

    Welcome to 20/20, the concept, not the year.

    Let me help you understand that statement, with a short explanation.

    Sometime ago (more than a handful of months I’m sure of now) I decided that the journey I took 4 years ago to broaden myself within the field of writing wasn’t exactly what I wanted it to be.

    No wait, I don’t think I said that correctly. Maybe it was more than I expected it to be, maybe I learnt more after the year was over, than I did during it.

    That’s wrong again, I think what I discovered in myself only came to the surface after the year was over and I had time to look back on the body of work and see it for what it was, madness in a bottle.

    So once more I’m embarking on a similar journey, releasing something each and every day for a year, be it a twisted short story or one of my unhinged poems, although this time the idea is more defined, more rounded. As a bonus level sort of thing (and in keeping with the idea of defining and building better ideas) at the end of each month we’re going to release on Amazon, an eBook collecting all the short stories & poems that birthed themselves into the world from that month.

    Now I know you’re thinking, why would I possibly pay for something that I could get for free?

    Easy answer is, you don’t get it all for free. The 20/20 posts that are released on the blog each month consists of 20 twisted 50 word stories and 20 unhinged poems. The 20/20 collections we’re releasing on Amazon, consists of 20 twisted short stories (each 50 word story given a broader brush stroke) and the 20 unhinged poems, as well as a brand new cover designed especially for each collection by the very talented Yazgar (the lead story is written around the first idea that presents itself when Gaz starts building his image around the random elements I toss his way).

    I know, a lot to take in, so I’ll give you a moment or two.

    If you want to keep up with each new piece of the 20/20 puzzle, follow the Facebook page, bookmark the blog, and follow me on amazon. I’ll drop all the links below, as well as a link to amazon where you can purchase the first 20/20 collection that is beautifully wrapped in the below cover.

    Stay crazy, stay weird, and let it all hang out for everyone to see, because no one ever had their dream just knock on their door.

    Matt

    ***

    Follow the below link to purchase 2020 Book One to read all 20 five minute short stories from smashwords, or look up 2020 Book One or Matthew Tonks on Amazon to purchase there.

    Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted twenty in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

    press above to go and follow me over in Facebookland

    press above to go and follow my Amazon Author Page


    press above to go and keep up to date on book releases

  • Welcome to 2020

    Welcome to 2020

    Greetings my darkened friends, it is some time since I sat and talked with you about things of the mind’s nature. The time from these shores has been sparse, yet plentiful. I have sailed many seas, and saw many a great thing, but the sea kept shunting me back towards you, my fleshlings.

    So, as not to upset her ladyship, we have returned to set out on a new adventure, a new expedition. I ask for little in return but your fellowship on the journey that is to be 2020.

    Shades of the former journey scar the shores of my new landscape, yet different attitudes take place.

    For the first few months, we will be honouring the year with 20 x twisted 50-word stories and 20 x unhinged dark twisted poems, with the odd full-fledged 500+ word story thrown in for good measure. The journey will ensure that each day you have something new to feast up your eyes.

    Yes, it’s true, we are on a run for 365 days of madness again.

    The insanity of the insane, is once more at your fingertips.

    Dare you journey with me?

    Dare you throw your hat into the ring for a ride?

    Who be enough, to see the narrowness of the straight?

    Be my blade, and my madness..

    Matt

  • It’s A Putrid Way To Kill October – KILLtober Short Story

    It’s A Putrid Way To Kill October – KILLtober Short Story

    “I never meant for this to be what it turned out to be. I wanted it to be something wonderful, not this horrible ripe piece of shit it turned out to be. We,” he says pointing to to her and then back to himself. “WE were meant to be forever. But somewhere within this insanity of a shit storm you distances yourself, leaving me to fend for myself in this fucked up world.”

    She stares at him silently, igniting his anger ten fold.

    “HOW COLD CAN YOU BE?” He yells as he leaps to his feet and slaps her across the face. “Don’t you have anything to say? Don’t you want to defend yourself? Don’t you want to tell me why you betrayed everything you promised me?”

    Silently she stares towards the ground, her eyes empty of any emotion. He grabs her by the fave and pulls her gaze to meet his.

    “TELL ME WHAT I MUST DO!” He screams into her face, saliva spraying from his mouth. “CAN’T YOU GIVE ME RELEASE FROM THIS HELL YOU HAVE SUBJECTED ME TO!” He yells shaking her violently, only to once more receive no response. He collapse back into his chair, tears running down his face as he sobs like a new born baby.

    “You know why,” she whispers in his ear. “You sit on your throne of judgment and cast your pathetic decisions upon those who do not fit into your self delusional cookie cutter shape. I never cast you aside. I never promised you anything. It was YOU who took from me the most important aspect of who I was, yet you stand here before me casting your insane accusations as if I was the one at fault. You’re pathetic,” she hisses at him. He looks up at her with hate filled eyes, slapping her across the face once more.

    “HOW DARE YOU!” He cries as he leaps to his feet once more. “I LOVED YOU!”

    She laughs softly “How dare I!” She hisses. “HOW DARE YOU! Look at what your so called love has done to me. Look at me with eyes open!”

    He looks down upon her rotting naked ripe corpse and draws in the stench of her decaying flesh, as he closes his eyes he grips his hardening penis and slowly strokes it.

    “You took everything from me, was it not enough? Now you defile my remains with your pathetic thing!”

    He smiles as he sticks his fingers into a rotting gash in the side of her skull. After a few moments he pulls them out and sticks his fingers in his mouth, sucking them like they’re an icy pole. His stroking fastens and his bottom lip begins to tremble, saliva dripping from his mouth. “I have far more things to do to you, before I am through.” he says as his smile broadens and then he thrusts his hard penis into the hole and starts fucking her skull, while her dead eyes stare blankly off into space.

  • Catching More Than The Suns Rays – KILLtober Short Story

    Catching More Than The Suns Rays – KILLtober Short Story

    It’s something to see everything you ever put into this world slowly fall away like melting cheese. I know that sounds like a bad analogy, but it’s exactly how it all looked from where I am sitting.

    Life up until three hours ago wasn’t worth living, and then it happened.

    I’ve always been a major drama queen when it comes to winning. Simply put, I’m no loser and if you even try and call me one you better watch out.

    How does this connect to my whole life melting before my eyes, it doesn’t if I’m to be honest, but it does tell you how I wound up here watching it all come down alone.

    Danny Kalfmsn, Steven Hutton and I were down at Jackson’s Damn trying time cool off on what had to be one of the hottest days so far this year when Shirley Carter and her girlfriend’s Peggy and Megan Saunders turned up looking to go for a quick dip. Peggy and Danny were almost going steady, and Steven was all over Megan like flies on a carcass, leaving Shirley and me to once again have an awkward conversation about nothing important.

    We talked about the sun, the clouds, her brothers marijuana plants and how wet her pussy got every time she thought of me touching it.

    I was gobsmacked, Shirley Fucking Carter was talking about me and her vagina in the same sentence. I stuttered an answer that made no sense, and then she asked if I wanted to touch it.

    Words couldn’t escape my lips by that stage, do I did the only polite thing I could do and nodded my head. She grabbed my hand and slid it down her pants, it was warm, soft, and extremely wet. To be honest, I hadn’t had the pleasure of fondling many before, and I might had got a bit carried away because she started riding my arm and moaning loudly. I tried to pull my arm away several times, but she would let me. That’s when it all fell to shit, I should’ve know it would.

    The car screeched to a powerful halt and Sheriff Carter jumped out, calling out for Shirley. He must’ve seen us the same time we saw him, because if he’d of seen us first I would be here right now. He screamed blue murder, pulling out his revolver. I ran, screaming for him not to shoot. I ran, screaming at him not to kill me. In my panic I somehow lost my footing and careered down the hill, cracking my head on the only rock that sat at the bottom of the hill, knocking myself out.

    When I came to, the sky was red with fire and the earth was hot. I found out through social media that several blisters on the sun had exploded and the resulting destruction had followed. From what I had managed to read before the internet disappeared, the gigantic balls of fire were on a collision course with earth, and we didn’t need to worry about it hitting us as we would be baked well before it hit.

    I thought of heading home. I thought of looking for Shirley and popping my cheery before the end, but she was long gone and besides, her dad scares the fuck out of me. So instead I’ve decided this spot here, where I caught my first piece of tail will be where I catch my last rays of the sun.

  • When The Pride Hurts More Than The Injury – KILLtober Short Story

    When The Pride Hurts More Than The Injury – KILLtober Short Story

    He pulls himself from the water and collapses breathless onto the muddy bank, his side throbbing. He glances quickly down and pulls his eyes away even quicker. Three ribs stick out through his flesh, blood gushes from within leaving him in agony and the perpetual fear of his oncoming death.

    He forces his hand into the mud and slowly edges himself to his hands and knees, letting out a long stutters breath as he looks up at himself.

    “Crazy how this shit just sorta happened, isn’t it?” He says to himself.

    “Y-Y-You make it sound like it was del-del-deliberate.”

    He smiles, “of course it was all deliberate Samuel, I told you it was eventually going to happen, if that doesn’t spell deliberate I don’t know what does. You need to be more honest with yourself, otherwise more things like this is going to happen,” he says as his smile broadens.

    “You fucked ME!” Samuel screams as he lunges for his doppelgänger, only to end up on the ground in a heaping pile of pain. “W-W-Why? Why a-a-are you doing this to me?”

    “Why are you blaming me for something you have brought upon yourself? It is not I who is the one who is to blame for each and every bad decision you’ve ever made, it is you. I am just a version you have constructed from your frail mind to heap your blame upon. But as I am effectively you, I am also too stubborn to take the blame for your misfortunes, exactly like you are for your own. So instead of being a scapegoat I am a resonating soundboard, deflecting your insecurities back upon your own self.”

    Samuel struggles to his feet, swaying from side to side.

    “You’re not looking too good there partner, maybe you should find somewhere to sit down. Or maybe you could find and nice dry spot where you could curl up for the winter and take a nice long nap.”

    “FUCK YOU!”

    “There you go again attacking those around you, when the anger should be focused inwards, upon your own shoulders,” he says softly, as he casts a glance down at Samuel’s side. “Oh dear, that looks worse than it did a few moments ago, I’m afraid it might be irreversible at this stage of the game.”

    “You don’t know what you’re FUCKING talking about! You’re just a FIGMENT if my imagination! My subconscious working against me! I’ll make it out of here, I’ll get back, and then I’ll make sure I get rid of you permanently!”

    He smiles, “Samuel my dear boy, you’ll never get rid of me. I’ll always be here in your reflection, taunting you my perfection while you continue to fail at the simplest things in life. That is of course if you survive that injury

    “I-I-I’ll survive,” Samuel says as he pulls his knife free from its sheath, displaying it proudly.

    He smiles, “We’ve been though this Samuel, you cannot harm me, for I am just your reflection, you would do better to tear out you…” he doesn’t get to finish his words as he notices the smile grow upon Samuel’s face as he drives the blade upwards.

  • Let Me Ride Upon A Silver Daggers Edge – KILLtober Short Story

    Let Me Ride Upon A Silver Daggers Edge – KILLtober Short Story

    “I know it’s a long shot, but what else do I have?” Derek says as he turns the key, bringing the engine to like with a snarl.

    “You realise what it’ll cost you, regardless of the outcome?”

    “It’s not my fate that matters anymore, it’s hers,” he says looking up at him, tears in his eyes. “Sometimes you never know what someone means to you until you’re faced with the big white hot question. I love her man. Fuck, I always have. She’s the it to my be, and I’d risk everything I have for her. Fuck man, look at me telling the truth for once,” he says with a jovial laugh and awkward smile.

    “It’s a shame you can’t be rewarded for this display of passion.”

    “You could change that,” he answer quickly through trembling lips, their eyes touch for a second before he tears his gaze away.

    “Well played,” he says deeply, with a wide smile. “You almost had me, hook line and sinker. But right at the end, right at the very fucking end you lost me. It’s been a long while since a meat sack has played me for a fool, so take that to your grave when I feast upon all you ever were and could be.”

    “I’m still going to win, he’ll come take me. My death will be righteous and true, it’ll wipe my soul clean of any sin and he’ll stop you from your demented feast!” Derek screams as he pushes the accelerator to the floor and the car leaps forward like a knife thrust at its foe. He takes corners with grand style, sliding the car left and right with ease. The smile grows on his face, as does his eyes wide.

    “There’s no tomorrow. There’s no yesterday. There’s only today, and today’s just fine for me!” He screams as the car tears through the mucous like tissue and births itself into the hive of the dark queen. He bends the car around corners as if the car was made of rubber, spiralling down corridors, twisting his way down towards her sanctuary. Drones throws themselves at the metal beast, only to become big like smears across it’s mighty flesh. Onwards and downwards he goes, until after what seems like an eternity of driving he reaches her chamber. She stands defiant before he throne of digested males, her eggs glowing inside there lifeless husks. He turns the engine over, revving it in anticipation.

    “YOU DARE TO COME BEFORE ME, AND THREATEN MY HIVE!”

    He revs the engine again, sneering towards her. “I don’t give a good god damn fuck about your hive bitch! I’m here for one thing, and one thing only, YOU!”

    She laughs as darkness begins to swallow the room, he spies from all corners of her visceral throne room thousands of her drones closing into towards him. He thrusts his foot down and the back wheels skid behind him like a fishes tail.

    He pulls down the sun-visor and stares at her smile, how it used to be and the looks towards her malformed, diseased form and lets the tears run free.

    “I’ll always love you,” he whispers as he takes his foot off the break and thrusts forward like a bullet, as he hits her he slams his fist down upon the detonator…

  • A Coat For Any Weather – KILLtober Short Story

    A Coat For Any Weather – KILLtober Short Story

    “Whimsical thinking’s of a world gone mad, that’s what she said before she ran out of the door. Crazy bitch must’ve been totally off her tree, it was minus six and she didn’t even take her coat,” Carl exclaims with eyes wide and dry as he darts a quick glance over to the coat that hangs over a chair sitting a few feet from where they stand.

    Conner clears his throat and fights the smile he feels slowly growing on his face. “So let me get this straight, just so I know we’re both on the same page. You think she left some type of ‘explosive device’ within the pockets of her coat, and her little off hand remark was a call sign of some fictional assassin you’ve been reading stories about from the internet. Sound right?”

    Carl smiles nervously, “W-When you say it out loud, it makes it sound crazy.”

    Conner smiles broadly and grabs Carl by the shoulder, massaging it firmly. “Thank fucking Christ, I was beginning to think I was the only one. But now you’ve confirmed it for me, can you see how hard it is for me to take any of what you’ve said as the truth?”

    “But don’t you GET IT!” Carl says exasperated. “That’s what she wants you to believe, that’s her thing. She goes in and ruins her targets life, makes them seem unhinged, then kills them.”

    “I get it, I really do. We all want our lives to be something more, to be honest that’s why I wanted to be a cop. But reality ain’t Bruce Willis movies Carl, it’s boring and sometimes empty. You just have to love it and live through it regardless, but shit like this ain’t part of it buddy. Now you go back to your books and forget,” Conner says as he grabs the coat from the seat and strides out of the bar.

    Carl turns nervously around and meets the blank stares of those still within the bar.

    “WHAT ARE YOU ALL STARING AT!” He yells. “BARS CLOSED, SO YOU CAN ALL GET LOST!” It takes less than a minute for the once bustling bar to become a quite and empty. “I’ll show them they’re the crazy ones. I’ll show them I’m not making this up. I’ll sh…” his words are cut short as she stands at the end of the bar staring at him.

    “Y-Y-You’re really h-h-her, aren’t y-y-you?” He asked through shaking lips.

    “Her?”

    “Her, the killer of killers. The assassin of assassins. The Silhouette.”

    “The what?” She asks, her faced screwed up with confusion. “I don’t know what glue you’ve been sniffing buddy, but I was here earlier with some girlfriends enjoy and drink until my shit of a husband called up demanding I go pick his sorry arse up from work, it wasn’t until I was on the highway that I realised I’d forgot my damn coat , which is why I’m here. Now I was sitting over here and I can see that it’s gone, so I can only guess that you being the owner that you know where it is?”

    “S-S-So your not here to kill me?”

    “Say the fuck what?” She asks surprised. “Honey the only fucker who I want to kill is asleep in the back seat of my car outside. Now my coat, do you have it?”

    “Well…”

  • And In The Darkness Comes Your Answer – KILLtober Short Story

    And In The Darkness Comes Your Answer – KILLtober Short Story

    “Are you all suck here? Are any of you able to leave here?” Steward asks, only to receive silence as his answer.

    “Is anyone still with us?” Sophie asks towards the darkness around them, the rem pod explodes with colours and a high pitched noise quickly followed by everyone’s ghost meter pros lighting up and flashing like a disco.

    “Oh wow!” Sophie’s says with glee. “Thank you so much!”

    “Are you all suck here? Are any of you able to leave here?” Steward asks with gusto mince more, again there is no answer accept silence as all the equipment fall silent and still. Craig and Emma look over to Steward curiously.

    “Something going on with you tonight?” Craig asks, Steward pulls his gaze away quickly and swallows nervously.

    “Nothings going on, obviously they just don’t want to talk to me tonight,” he says through tear filled eyes.

    The rem pod explodes with colours and sound, and all the ghost meter pros glow with energy.

    “Oh wow!” Sophie says with excitement, “I think everyone here thinks you’re lying.”

    “Well they can all get fucked!” Steward growls as he jumps to his feet, both hands clenched into fists.

    “Dude, calm the fuck down. Obviously something is going on, lying is only going to make it worse. So instead of being a dick about it all, why don’t you sit down and tell ALL of us what the fuck is going on!” Emma says passionately.

    Steward stares at then in the darkness, each of them bathed in the light from their respective ghost meter pros. “None of you are going to understand,” he says, a silence response is given with the flashing of lights.

    “Oh wow, I think they all disagree you Steward. Give them a chance and maybe they can give you the answers your looking for,” Sophie says.

    “She’s got a point,” Craig adds. “We’ve never had everything working together like this before, and I’ve never heard of anything like this happening anywhere either, so don’t hold back, let it all go and I’ll film it.”

    “NO!” Steward yells, holding up a hand in defence. “I’ll tell you the truth. I’ll ask my true questions, but I won’t do it with a camera in my face.”

    Craig jumps to his feet, “But this is monumentous, this is undocumented. We can’t let something li…” his words trail off as all the ghost meters flash violently in unison.

    Emma places a hand on Craig’s and pulls him back down. “I think they’ve all had their say. They don’t want to turn this into anything but what it is,” she says nodding her head towards Steward. “It’s about him and whatever needs to be asked. They want his question, so let him ask it.”

    Steward takes a deep breath and smiles nervously, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry for the way I started off tonight, I didn’t mean to treat any of you like you’re the enemy. I-I-It’s just I don’t know how to ask the question I need to ask,” he says softly, the ghost meters flash and the rem pod cascades through a kaleidoscope of colours, almost singing a song. Suddenly the spirit box explodes to life and begins scanning across a spectrum of random channels.

    “Ask Your Question?” A single voice asks. Everyone stops in terror, all their eyes staring desperately at Steward.

    “D-D-Did one of you come home with me?” He asks nervously.

    All eyes quickly fall to the spirit box. Seconds later all the ghost meters turn off followed quickly by the rem pod, leaving them all in pitch black. Only then is it that the spirit box finally answers, “YES!”

  • It Is All In The Way You Cut It – KILLtober Short Story

    It Is All In The Way You Cut It – KILLtober Short Story

    “Don’t be afraid of why you are here my angel, be afraid because you are here,” the old woman says with a wicked laugh as she skilfully glides the knife across the steel, working its blade into a fine point. “It’s an art form,” she says with a wink. “I’ve been doing this longer than I care to remember, and if the blade isn’t sharp enough it ain’t gonna cut through anything.”

    “W-W-Why are you doing th-this?” The girl stammers through trembling lips.

    “Well it’s not out of love I can tell you that,” the old woman quips back quickly. “My love for this cockamamie trifle died a long time ago. You see love, back in the day this was the high point of the calendar, the moment everyone waited for. They’d treat me like a queen, bowing to my ever whimsical requests with speed, never once questioning any of it,” she says softly as she stares into the nothingness before her, then her face screws up and she drives the knife into a wooden table top. “Now I can’t ever request the simplest of things without a bunch of morons sitting me down and telling me why I can’t have what I need. It’s disgusting. Lord Balmore would be appalled if he was alive today,” she says with a soft smile on her face as she looks up at a large portrait of a distinguished gentleman with a stern look upon his face. “I meet him on more than one occasion, he knew how to treat a woman I can tell you that. The old bugger curled my toes and made me purr like a kitten.”

    “W-W-What happened to him?”

    The smile drops away and she looks over to the girl coldly. “He passed, like we eventually do, only he went before his time. He was such a great man and didn’t deserve to go the way he did.” She picks a cleaver up from the bench and flicks it along the steel, whilst looking the girl up and down, dissecting her in her mind. “Now tell me poppet, how is it that you ended up here before me?”

    “D-D-Does it even matter?”

    “Once you get to be as old as me, everything matters. All the little things you take for granted in your youth are the things that come back to haunt you in your final days. Now, tell me girl, what brought you here?”

    She swallows and clears her throat. “I’ve never had much of anything, my parents were the same. It’s not that they didn’t get me the things I wanted, they sacrificed everything for me to have presents on my birthday and Christmas. It’s just, it was always a fight. When I had Sarah, I knew what my parents had done and I didn’t want my daughter to go through the same thing.” She says, tears running down her cheeks.

    “So you saw this opportunity, this brass ring hanging before you as a way out of the slums of your otherwise pathetic life?”

    “S-S-Sort of.”

    “NO! NOT SORT OF!” The old woman snaps. “If you are to learn, if you are to be my replacement, you must be not only truthful with others, but you must be truthful with yourself. Now again, pick up the knife and do as I do.” The old woman commands, she quickly picks up the knife and holds it nervously in her hands. “Tight,” the old woman hisses. “Your grip must be tight, for human flesh to be prepared correctly, you must first cut it correctly.”

  • Don’t Make Me Like A Record – KILLtober Short Story

    Don’t Make Me Like A Record – KILLtober Short Story

    He falls to the ground flat on his face, the first thing he can taste when he swallows is the blood that flows across his face from his nose.

    “SHIT!” He hisses through clenched teeth as he struggles to his hands and knees before emptying the contents of his stomach.

    “Ya right Jimmy boy?” Willis asks mockingly, which he immediately follows with a sarcastic laugh.

    “F-F-Fuck, FUCK YOU WILLIS!” He yells as he rolls over onto his back, only realising all too late once the smell hits his nostrils that he has rolled into his own vomit.

    Willis laughter louder, slapping his knees with excitement. “I used to think you were just another funny little cunt, but today you moved up the chain Jimmy. Because you’re not only a funny little cunt, but you’re also a dirty little one as well,” he says smiling wildly, showcasing a mouthful of gold capped teeth.

    “Y-Y-You d-d-d-don’t understand that thing, it’s impossible.”

    “Nothing impossible, it’s only a state of mind. If you let yourself believe it, then it will be. If you be all me negative, then fuck boy, negative is what you will be.”

    “What the fuck, you somehow think you’re some sort of Mister Miyagi now?” Jimmy says as he finally gets to his feet, stabilising himself against the wall.

    “Boy, I’m not karate kid wanna be, I’m the real fucking deal! You’re about to see the shiza hit the niza upside your fazia!” Willis says as he tightens his hands into fists and flexes his biceps, kissing them playfully. “What you gonna pay to see me whip that mother-fucker into being my bitch?” He says giving Jimmy a wry smile.

    “You ain’t making anything or anyone your bitch, especially that monstrosity. So why don’t you just stand the fuck down before you make yourself look like a fool.”

    Willis’ face screws up as he breaks into a sudden dance, spinning on the spot and then rolling his arms as if running a ball from arm to arm. He then breaks out in a high powered run on the spot that end with him flipping himself into the air and landing on his feet in a joyous pose. “Damn my man, I am a god, and this bitch will be mine!” He yells proudly.

    “You are one twisted son of a gun, you say I’m crazy but mate you are more on the fringe than I am.”

    “I never said you were crazy boy, I said you were a cunt!”

    “Same difference,” Jimmy says back quickly.

    “Bro, they are so far apart from being the same thing.”

    “Who cares, just go do it, and stop stalking.”

    “Ain’t nobody stalling, I’m building tension,” Willis says as he cracks his fingers.

    “There’s no tension building here, so why don’t you just get in there and show me how it’s done.”

    “Watch and learn,” Willis says as he awkwardly climbs onto the merry go round. “Now don’t go shoving this things around with no limp dick effort, you gotta give it all you got, so I can show you all I got! Got it, boy?”

    “Just shut the fuck up and hold on!” Jimmy says as he grabs one of the handlebars and pulls it back.

  • A Second To Rethink A Drink – KILLtober Short Story

    A Second To Rethink A Drink – KILLtober Short Story

    He holds the vial tightly with one hand, and pulls himself up over the ledge until after what seems like an eternity he lies exhausted on the ground.

    “Such a right shame mate,” Stew says with a grin upon his face as he kneels down beside him, driving a knee into Barry’s chest pinning him to the ground. “Give it up, or I’ll do worse to you than I did the little mongrel,” he says gesturing towards Patty’s lifeless corpse, his dead eyes staring hopelessly toward Barry.

    “Fair go, can’t we make some sort of deal?”

    “You fellas had your chance to make things work right at the beginning of this little venture, but you couldn’t keep your dicks in your pants long enough go think of what would happen if you could keep your dicks hard. So tell me cobba, why the fuck would I even consider cracking a deal? You think I’m totally balmy or what Barry?”

    “Not on your fucking life Stew, I swear. You’ve known me for donkeys,I’m just a follower, Patty was the brains. I just did what he told me to, but now he’s gone I got no beef with you,” he says as he hold the vial up. “Take it and call is even.”

    Stew looks at the vial and allows a moment to was over him, giving Barry all the time in the world to grab him by the nuts with his free hand. Stew jumps, yelping in surprise. As he’s airborne Barry shifts himself to the left, and sweeps his right leg up wrapping it around Stew’s throat locking in a modified cross face.

    “Should’ve taken the offer!” Barry hisses as he squeezes and twists, snapping Stew’s neck. Both collapse to the ground.

    “F-F-Fuck yo-yo-you!” Stew stutters.

    “Fuck my dingo! How the shit are you still kicking?” Barry says as he scrambles quickly to his feet and stomps on Stew’s head until it’s a mess of blood, bone and hair.

    “Right fuck tard, that should shut you the fuck up,” he says as he staggers backwards excused. He hold the vial up high above his head and examines the dirty brown liquid. “Shit,” he says out loud to himself as he pulls the vials lid free and downs all of the liquid. He screws up his face in disgust, then empties the contents of his stomach on the ground before him. He wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket and takes a sniff of the vials open and empties whatever was left in his stomach.

    “Fucking god damn shit, that’s what it is,” he mumbles to himself.

    “You don’t know the half of it,” a voice says for behind, he turns nervously to face a very much alive Patty.

    “What the fucks going on mate, I saw you dead for all the money in the world. How the shit storm are you standing here?”

    Patty nods towards the vial he holds in his hand.

    “No way!”

    “True as fuck mate, the ancient text were dead on the money,” Patty says with a broad smile across his face.

    “Fuck me alive,” Barry says with a nervous smile that quickly disappears. “Wait a sec, if you drank this shit, then what shit did I drink?”

    “My shit mate, my shit,” Patty says with an even broader grin, as Barry vomits once more.

     

  • Serendipity Of A Synchronised Symphony – KILLtober Short Story

    Serendipity Of A Synchronised Symphony – KILLtober Short Story

    “And I say it’s a load of shit!” Carol quips as tightens her seatbelt. “Beth went back to Austria, or wherever it was the age came from. The whole idea you’ve got running around in your skull is ludicrous!”

    “Ludicrous, now there’s a word you don’t hear that often,” he says with a wry smile as he nods his towards a vacant spot a few feet from Carol.

    “Why the FUCK do you keep doing that!” She screams, as she looks around the otherwise empty car, and then back at Luke.

    “Do what?”

    “Talk to thin air like someone is there!”

    He smiles broadly, “Because there is someone there. In fact there’s someone everywhere. All around us echos of what was and has been bridge this world and the next, making every inch of space between ourselves and the next person jam packed with the ghosts of yesterday.”

    “Ghosts? You’re running commentary on everything you do, to ghosts! Are you fucking insane?”

    “I’m not surprised you don’t share my attachment to the other side of things, you’ve always been a solid believer of simplicity. The thought of what could be waiting for us after this is alien to you I’m sure, but I’ve seen things that can’t be explained any other way. So yeah, every now and then I like to keep them up to date with what’s happening,” he says shrugging his shoulders as he does. “Is that a crime?”

    “Fucking oath it’s a crime. See, there’s some things that defy explanation, like how do huge planes that weigh a fucking tone fly, and other shit like that, those things I can accept. But ghouls and ghosts are another thing entirely.”

    “Why, what makes the idea of something after this life an impossibility?”

    “Everything. We are meat and bone, nothing more, nothing less. To think that when this body dies some part of us leaks out of our arsehole and begins a new life free of this frail form that houses us is ridiculous.”

    “What if I could show you? What if I could allow you to see what I’ve seen. Do you think that would be a worthy experiment?”

    She laughs as she adjusts the rear view mirror and turns the key in the ignition. “Honey, you’d need to do a whole damn lot to make me believe in the afterlife.”

    “What if I could prove to you ghosts exist by showing you one, would that be enough?”

    She laughs louder, “If you can successfully show me a honest to god ghost, I’ll buy into your little world of insanity.”

    He points forward, “Drive,” he says.

    “Where?”

    “Straight, anywhere else it doesn’t matter, as long as you go straight, I can show you the rest.”

    “Okay, but for the record we’re wasting our time.”

    “Just drive, and you’ll see.”

    The engine roars to life and Carol lets out a giggle of amusement as she clicks the indicator on and pulls out from the curb. Several silent minutes pass as they drive aimlessly around the quiet streets, until carol breaks the silence.

    “What am I looking for?”

    “What do you mean?” He asks.

    “Exactly what I asked. What am I looking for, you know, this proof of yours.”

    “You haven’t seen it?”

    She looks around the empty streets and then back to Luke. “No, ain’t nothing to see.”

    “Look again,” he says softly.

    Carol looks out the window once more, staring out into the night. It’s the that she notices no matter which way she turns, they always seems to stay on the same road. “Okay, what did you do?” She asks, turning to Luke, who looks at her with a frown upon his face.

    “Do you remember what happen after we  got in the car?”

    “What, what sort of question is that! We started having this conversation,” She replies confidently.

    “Are you sure?”

    “What the hell do you mean, am I sur…” she stops herself partway though as she stares at her own reflection in the rear view mirror and remembers how the conversation began, after the truck narrowly missed them.

  • A Simple Plan Of Mice And Treasures – KILLtober Short Story

    A Simple Plan Of Mice And Treasures – KILLtober Short Story

    Scolfield holds the jewel encrusted skull up to the light and sucks in a stuttered breath before allowing himself to smile.

    “I-I-Is, is it his?” Roberto asks, as two lock eyes he knows the answer before its spoken and begins to laugh hysterically. “HOLY SHIT!” He yells spinning around in a circle like Julie Andrews from The Sound Of Music. “YOU FUCKING STAR!” He screams grabbing Scolfield by the collar and shaking him violently. “THOSE OLD SAS FUCKS SAID YOU WERE MAD, THAT THIS WAS A WASTE OF MONEY AND RESOURCES. THEY SAID YOU’D SURELY PERISH OUT HERE, BUT LOOK AT YOU NOW, YOU FUCKING BEAUTIFUL BASTARD! LOOK AT YOU NOW!”

    Scolfield smiles as he wipes the dirty sweat from his brow, “The fools, once I get back and show the world I was right! They’ll be begging me to be part of their little pathetic club. They’ll want ME to talk at seminars across the world, just so they can make sure I don’t bad mouth them to the worlds press. I’m going to be a FUCKING legend and they’re going to be riding my coattails until I grow sick of them!”

    Roberto’s smile fades away as he looks down at hi stomach, the red glistening in the darkness. “We’ll have to address this soon you realise?”

    Scolfield stares at the skull, ignoring Roberto’s words, “They’ll throw parties just so they can be close to me, and the women, the women will throw the self at me! I’ll bet most of them will already naked in anticipation! It w..”

    Roberto smacks Scolfield across the face. “FOCUS MAN!” He yells. “If you don’t get with the program I’ll bleed to death here, and without me you can’t survive the path back.”

    “I don’t have time for your tripe and circumstance, I’m going to be the hottest thing to ever happen to in my field, do you think I actually have time to care what happens to you?” Scolfield growls sarcastically as he launches to his feet. “You are a nothingness to my everything. We got this far because of me, and only me. You did nothing, and I’ll not be lectured by someone who can’t even organise themselves to bring but the clothes they wear on their back. If fate has chosen you to die here, then blessed me who is to challenge fate. So say everything you have to say, waste you’re energy. Just know that I will not be blackmailed or threatened by the likes of you! Do you understand?” He boasts loudly, waving a finger at Roberto.

    Roberto starts laughing hysterically while Scolfield looks on in confusion. “Has your final screw fallen away?”

    “If only my liege, for the screw you so desperately wish was mine, is yours.”

    They stare in silence at each other, motionless for some time before Scolfield finally lets a grunt escape from his throat. “Truly you have become lost my old friend, had we been in somewhat of a better situation I would gladly risk myself, to save you. But as it is, you will be remembered gracefully in my tales of this expedition.” He says through nervous lips.

    “What’s wrong?” Roberto asks softly, a wry smile upon his face.

    “Y-Y-Your shirt, it was drenched in bl-blood not more than five seconds ago, and n-n-now it-it-it..”

    “Now it’s clean?” Roberto says as he  interrupts and finishes Scolfield’s sentence for him.

    “W-W-What’s going on?”

    “Take a look down, and remember,” Roberto whispers as he fades away into the darkness. Scolfield nervously looks down at his stomach and sucks in a breath of terror as he sees his intestines on the ground before him. He looks up upon the jewel encrusted skull one last time, taking in a final glimpse of his treasure and then is no more…

  • You Don’t Need To Be That Girl – KILLtober Short Story

    You Don’t Need To Be That Girl – KILLtober Short Story

    He squeezes his hand tightly over her mouth as their eyes wide with fear follow the things as they move quickly through the adjacent hallway. He can feel her heart pump powerfully in her chest as the bodies of the destitute bang against the doorway like a sea of unstoppable water.

    After what seems like an eternity the hallway finally begins to grow silent and with the silence comes an ease to their panic, gently he allows his grip to be released from her mouth.

    For a few minutes they stay there motionless, neither operating on enough upstairs to put the words or movement together, for there are no words or movements that can articulate what needs to be said or done.

    “D-D-D-Do you think that’s all of them?” She asks quietly.

    “How would you define ‘all of them’ so I can give you an answer that fits the question.”

    “DON’T DO THIS NOW!” She hisses under her breath.

    “Don’t do what? You asked a very blasé question, and I just wanted clarification on what exactly you were asking.”

    “Stop it!” She hisses, raising her voice.

    “I’m NOT doing anything, you’re the one mak…” He stops in his tracks, and both of them turn white with fear as an inhuman scream fills the hallway. They share a look of frustration with each other before pressing themselves up against the wall.

    “Do you th…” He puts his hand to her mouth again and furrows his brow with concern, then holds a finger to his lips. The hallway explodes with bodies once more as the herd charges through like a wrecking ball. The walls shake with the carnage, and then once more subside.

    They stand in silence once more, staring at each other silently conversing through their eyes. Finally he nods and release her once more, and she lets out a deep sigh.

    “Can we just get out of here, whatever we came here for is long gone,” she whispers, not taking her eyes from his.

    “What we came her for, was for you, not me. So don’t suddenly turn around and make it look like I’m in control of all this shit. You said we needed to come here, and I tried to talk you out o..” She holds up a hand in frustration, rolling her eyes.

    “Alright, you don’t need to read me the riot act. Yes it was my decision to come here, and yes you were right and I was wrong, but can we play the blame game after we’re safe and sound back home.”

    “This isn’t a case of who’s to blame Beth, this is a point about survival. You don’t know what you’re going to tread on out here, and by not knowing you could kill everyone just because you wanted to risk your life over some piece of jewellery. Well let me tell you,” He says, holding up a necklace. “Jewellery ain’t worth shit, and if you want to risk your life for it, go ahead!” He says as he opens the door and throws the necklace in the hallway, then slams it shut again.

    “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE! I EARNED IT THROUGH ALL THE SHIT THAT OLD CUNT MADE ME DO! IT WAS MINE! IT WAS MINE!” She screams as she pulls the door open, at the same time the hallway ignites with vibrations. She darts a look towards Steve who quickly scrambles back up into the roof, then looks back towards the necklace that sits a few feet from her grasp in the hallway.

    “BETH!” Steve calls from behind her, holding a hand out to help her up. “Forget the past, and move forward with me! Make a choice!”

    “I don’t have one, to make” she says softly as she rushes into the hallway, and into the herd.

  • What You Wish For May Not Be What You Want – KILLtober Short Story

    What You Wish For May Not Be What You Want – KILLtober Short Story

    “Does it hurt?” She asks sheepishly, trying to mask her smile behind a mixture of hands and hair.

    “What do you think?” He replies coldly.

    “I don’t know, it depends what drugs they’ve got you on.”

    “They haven’t gone me on anything, apparently my records say I’m allergic to almost everything that would numb the pain. So yes it hurts, it hurts a god damn lot in fact and I’d really appreciate you not making fun of it all, after all I wouldn’t be in this spot if it wasn’t for you!” He hisses.

    “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun of it, honestly. I just thought you’d be getting all the good stuff.”

    “Yeah well guess what princess, everything after the happily ever after isn’t always HAPPILY EVER AFTER, is it.”

    “What’s that supposed to mean?”

    “Exactly what it meant to mean, look at us,” he says gesturing towards his broken and bruised body. “Or should I say, look at me. Did you even chip a nail?”

    “I-I-I, I never asked you to do any of what you di…”

    “BULLSHIT! You used me to do what you didn’t have the courage to do. You manipulated every choice I made, to be the one you were too scared to make yourself. I’m laying here broken because of you, and I don’t even get to enjoy the possibility of having you at the end of it.”

    “W-W-What are you saying?” She asks softy, pulling her gaze away from his.

    “I’m saying exactly what it sounds like. You don’t love me, you never have. The idea of what I stood for you, was a nice idea, but the actual feeing part isn’t there,” he cups her by the chin and turns her to face him. “Not by you anyway.”

    Her face glows red and she pushes his hand away and gets to her feet, walking over to the window.

    “It never meant to be like that, I never meant to no feel anything. I thought,” she stares out the window, into the night and lets out a stuttered breath. As she turns back to him tears run down her face, “I thought if you did all these things for me, if you achieved all the dreams I had my soul mate achieve then I would love you.”

    “But you couldn’t,” he stops as his bottom lip quivers uncontrollably, “could you?”

    She smiles softly as she sits by his side again and brushes his hair from his face. “Someday you will make someone a dashing prince, but sadly, even though I wished with all that I am it was me, we are not made to be.”

    He turns away as the tears flow down his cheeks, “GO!” He hisses through clenched teeth.

    “Please Simon, don…”

    “GO!” He screams as he forces her away, tearing his arm free of its sling as she toppled to the floor. “JUST GO!”

    “Please, Simon I may not love you the way you want me to, but I still love you.”

    Simon looks up at her, his eyes filled with tears. “That’s the problem isn’t it, I love you too much and you don’t love me enough. I don’t regret a moment of it, I just regret I always knew this part was going to come.” He says with a soft smile.