It’s funny how pain can linger from the most insignificant injury, and disappear almost instantly when the injury is life threatening. I know you all silently agree, some of you even agreed out loud or even took the time to think about that scar you have somewhere hidden, or in plain sight that almost cost you this life. Though in the end, regardless of where you sit my point is if anything else, more about this moment in my life than it is about some random pointless to my existence moment in yours.
Although I never did picture this as the way I want out, fuck it wasn’t even on my one hundred and one list of things to do before I died, not that I had that many thing stars to aim for,
I’d laugh If only to myself, but I’m exhausted. The heat of the bath water is causing me to break out in a sweat along with the poetically confusing lyrics from one of the many rhythmically twisted songs that Pearl Jam forced into the blender of insanity we call No Code plays with my mind.
But regardless of all of these things, I still see the redness ooze from my arm into the water like a broken tap head unable to be turned off.
It’s not how I pictured my end, I mean we’ve all toyed with the idea but I was pretty sure the coward in me would never do it.
I suppose suicide is just about the only way we can control how we die. Sure, we can live a healthy lifestyle and take reasonable precautions, but in the end, death has her way.
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She‘ll find you no matter how long it takes her.
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