Wearing The Ring Thing – KILLtober Short Story

“It’s not like that,” he says as he throws himself onto the table before him. Spit flys from his mouth and showers her face but she only continues to smile.

“You have forfeited any ability to make any alterations, and or claims after the twenty-four hours that passed directly following your signature of the contract. There is little, to anything that you or I for that matter can do. It is suggested in the bylaws that if one does come forward with a complaint such as the one you have brought forward, that we once agin address the original specifications of the agreement.” She smiles broadly, showing off her perfectly white teeth.

“But it’s not fair! What we agreed to was not what I originally asked for,” he says, the frustration oozing off each word.

“Any displeasure, or deviation from the original agreement should have been made within the first twenty-four hours, anythi….”

“TO HELL WITH YOUR FIRST TWENTY-FOUR HOUR BULLSHIT!” He screams slamming his fists into the table once more. “I was unaware there was any deviation, or problem with the fucking thing until I got a good look at it!”

“It states in clause two of the agreement that all goods must be checked by the purchaser within the first twenty-four hours after signature of the agreement, otherwise any displeasure, and or deviation from the original agreement will not be covered by any form of warranty.” She says, the broad smile still plastered upon her lips.

“But it’s not FAIR!” He yells. “How was I to know there was an issue? How was a supposed to know I should check every inch of it over before I took it home?”

“Because it states for that to be done in the contract you signed, and not only that.” She says with a smile, “You also signed box sixty-seven, which states you not only read, but fully understood the documents that you were signing.”

“No one ever actually reads all that shit!” He says as he throws his hands in the air in frustration.

“But that’s why we require you to sign box sixty-seven, to ensure you do read and understand what you are signing.”

”FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! CAN I SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN?” He yells.

”There is a three hundred and forty day wait to speak to a human operator, are you happy to be moved into the queue?”

”FINE!” He hisses in frustration as she disappears and the little egg shaped pod that he is sitting in slides into an enormous   warehouse filled with thousands upon thousands of similar looking pod. As his pod comes to a stop behind another he turns to the motionless girl who sits beside him and lets out another sigh of frustration. The girl jerks forward and the turns to face him, smiling broadly.

”My love, whatever is the matter?” She asks as she places a hand on his lap, his face scrunches up and he pulls her hand away.

”I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME UNTIL WE GET RID OF THAT THING!” He bellows, he face drops and she frowns.

”You are still unhappy about it, is it because it’s bigger than yours?” She asks as she pulls her massive penis free from her pants.

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