Where The Wild Things Aren’t – KILLtober Short Story

“I said it, but he was the one who meant it. You heard it, but instantly regretted doing it. And he was the only one who really wanted it, but never has the chance to do it,” he says with a wild smile upon his face, as he throws himself across the top of the piano like a poorly choreographed show girl. “Is that about as close as you need me to be?” He asks as he thrusts the microphone towards the naked woman who finds herself tied over-zealously to a chair.

“FUCK YOU TRENT, O…” he smacks her in the face with the microphone, deliberately cutting her off at the pass.

“WAH-WAHHH! Wrong answer!” He says spinning himself around like a breakdancer, expertly dismounting the piano and landing clumsily to the floor with his head landing in her lap. He looks up red faced, a smile stretching from ear to ear. “Sorry Miss Miles, I never meant to fall in there,” he darts a quickly look downwards, then looks back up to her. “If you don’t mind me saying, the hedge is in need of repair, and it wouldn’t hurt getting some clippers down there so the pool boy could see what rock he’s licking.”

“Don’t you ever STOP?” She hisses, spitting in his face. Without hesitation he slaps her across the face and grabs her face, squeezing her lips so they pucker up, then spits into her mouth.

“Don’t try and out me, ME!” The venomously growls as he launches himself to his feet, then smiles before bowing elegantly. “There was a time a situation like this would have me all stuff and ready, but I’ve found through the constant years of harassment you’ve given me that I am not excited by any of this,” he says gesturing towards her nonchalantly. “I know that sounds crazy and wild, but it’s the truth. Don’t get me wrong, you’re a fine looking woman who would give any man a sure fire run for his premature ejaculation juice, it’s just not me.” He says with a smile as he dance around the room. “Call me a fool, but I like there to be something more, something real,” he says sliding up next to her. “But don’t let that fool you, because before this night is over I’m going to fuck you in ways you’ve only ever seen on the internet.”

“He’ll stop you before you lay a hand on me, and this tune he’ll stop you once and for all!” She declares proudly. They lock eyes with one another, as they find themselves trapped in an impossible stand off, a war of concentration that only the weak fall fowl to tricks.

He smiles broadly, not breaking their gaze. “How fitting would it be. How grand would your night be, to have him inside you instead of me? Well I hate to break your spirit, but lover boy with the three-and-a-half inch dong, ain’t coming tonight, or tomorrow night. In fact,” he says as he grabs her head and turns it to the left. “He ain’t coming anywhere, ever again,” he whispers into her ear as a screen drops to the ground, revealing a dismembered corps mounted upon the wall.

She screams in terror, while he licks the side of her face. “Wild, ain’t it?” He asks.

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