“I give to you your leader, The President!” a voice announces over the speakers that are littered around the sports stadium, followed diligently by The Star Spangled Banner as he expertly dismounts the harness and struts up to the podium with pomp and presence.

“IT’S ME! I’M ALIVE!” he screams into the microphone as the crowd cheer wildly.

“NEWS OF MY DEATH WAS SORELY WRONG! FAKE NEWS AGAIN! FAKE NEWS, BY A CORRUPT SYSTEM! NEWS, NEWS IS NEVER WHAT THE RAVAGED DOGS OF WAR TELL YOU IT IS, BECAUSE THEY LIE, THEY LIE TO YOU, AND THEY LIE TO ME!”