Light And Hoppy
He stares out across the beautiful barren landscape before him as he sits in an awkward bloody mess, and take another swing on the almost empty beer bottle in his hand. With curious eyes he studies the beer’s labelling, letting out a stuttered laugh as he turns to Sandy’s lifeless corpse.
“Fucking hipsters and their low carb BULLSHIT beer, can’t they just let beer be beer, and make their own ultra light comfort shit under a different name so people like me done get stuck with their pissweak SHIT!” he sneers as he downs the last of the beer and tosses the bottle away before struggling back to his feet once more, using a weathered shovel like some makeshift crutch. He stares down at the hole and then over to Sandy, pulling a repulsive look across his face as he swish’s the last few drops around in his mouth before spitting it out to the dusty ground beneath him.
“FUCKING HIPSTER WANKERS!” he screams as he trusts the shovel into the ground with a flair of theatrics, before he bends down a picks Sandy up in his arms. “Sorry old girl, but I’m sure you knew, somewhere in the back of that dense head of yours that I’d come back for you.”