Tag: Tasmania

“Yeah, you heard me RIGHT! THEY FUCKING STOLE it from ME like it was THEIRS to begin with!” he spits through bloody lips. “THEY used MY night, MY power, to build their SINKING empire on while I faded away into NOTHING!”

“I wouldn’t say you faded into nothing Samael.” she purrs with a cheeky smile across her cherry-coloured lips.

“THEY STOLE IT FROM ME! FROM ME THE CHILD OF THE LIGHT!” he bellows.

“It was never YOURS! It was no ones, not until the birth of the lord and saviour Jesus Christ that is.”

“FUCKING HELL WOMAN, Christ is more of a fictional character then Father BLOODY Christmas!”

She allows a laugh to escape her lips, before crossing her legs and leaning seductively forward. “Some may say the same about you.” she scoffs.

He grins broadly, twisting his nose upward with a smugness earned through decades of skulduggery. “Tell me, how many times have you shared a room with that ponce Christ or old man kiddy-fiddler Christmas?”

“That’s not the point of the statement, it was just trying to point out a fact that you cannot give.”

“BULLSHIT! There is no point to YOUR statement, that’s why you made it! That’s why you all exist! There is no reason whatsoever for you to be here, for me to be here, yet here we are, here it all is. Now, answer my question. How many times have you shared a room with either of those two pieces of fictional SHIT!”

She lets out a stuttered breath. “Once, for both.”

Samael’s eyes widen and his lips quiver. “Y-Y-You lie,” he stammers.

She shakes her head in disagreement and smiles broadly. “No, I don’t, of course with you being the price of lies you already know that. But still you asked, why is that?” she asks with a tilt of her head.

“I-I-I,” he mutters through trembling lips.

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” she purrs sarcastically, throwing her hair back and allowing a playful laugh to escape her lips. “You are too easy to play with Samael, I had though the price of lies would be somewhat harder to manipulate than I was led to believe, yet here we are, you and I.”

“W-W-Who put you up t-to this? W-Who have you c-c-conspired with against me?”

“Why does it have to be with others? Why can’t it just be me?” she asks with a wicked grin across her lips.

The smile wraps itself across his lips once more, broader than before, almost touching each ear lobe. “You already answered you question, with the proclamation before your last question.”

“I-I-I,” she stammers this time.

“Are we swapping roles, or just the shoes we wear in this conversating?” he asks with a raise of his eyebrows.

“I-I-I, I still have you in MY trap! I-I-I, I still hold POWER OVER YOU!” she spits nervously.

He stands tall and holds his hands out flat towards her. “There is no such thing as power, over me,” he says as he spreads his hands in separate directions which tear her arms from her body. She screams in pain and terror, while he laughs heartedly as he takes a step out of her demonic trap. With a wave of his hand he raises her into the air until she is dangling playfully before him like a cat toy, while her blood spills from where her arms once joined her body.

“W-W-Why g-go through all t-t-this if you c-could just w-w-walk away a-a-at any time?” she grimaces weakly.

“Why do the stars shine? Why do the bird fly? Why does everything be?”

“I-I-I, I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” she screams.

“Exactly,” he says as he squeezes his hands together, and breaks every bone in her body.

“SAMAEL!” a voice bellows from beyond the darkness that has settled around the two.

“You started it Christ! You and your little army of HUMANS!” he spits, as he drops her lifeless corps into a pool of her own blood and turns to face a mirror image of himself. “You look like shit,” he spits.

“It’s better than looking like you, no wait that’s what I look like,” he retorts sarcastically.

“Sarcasm, this is new.” Samael sneers with an eyebrow raised.

“What can I say, parts of you rub off on someone eventually.”

“No, that’s not what happens.” He snarls as he taps his chest repeatedly before grabbing his crotch. “Eventually I rub myself off on someone, but I never pass on a part of me, not ever! What happened you since I last saw your perfect arse?”

“He’s been smoking LSD with a commune full of hippies for the last sixteen years, he ain’t the same Christ you once knew,” a large red suited figure says as he drags an enormous red sack behind him that moves and screams with each step the man takes.

“What’s in the bag?”

“The commune,” he says with a broad smile, that freely displays his rotten teeth.

“Glad to see at least you haven’t changed Christmas,” Samael says with a broad grin.

“Someone has to keep on repping the old ways, otherwise we’d just die off like all the other sorry FUCKS!” he says with a jolly belly laugh. “Did you like your BIRTHDAY present OLD man? I hope you still have a thing for red heads.”

“Some things never change,” Samael says with a wicked laugh. “Some things never change at all! Merry Christmas!”

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2022 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

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“Childish behaviour like this will only delay the inevitable, not avoid it!” Syrian spits through his rotten teeth. “I nurtured you into adulthood, I helped build your legacy, and I feel I deserve some type of admiration for it instead of pranks better left to those that can pull them off!”

“You’re just jealous because I’m favoured by the others over you!” Toad remarks with a grin broad and green.

“I AM NOT IN COMPETITION WITH YOU!” he erupts as he trusts himself to his feet and points a long bony finger toward Toad. “I AM ABOVE YOU IN EVER SINGLE WAY! YOU, YOU ARE A PATHETIC WORM NOT WORTHY OF MY TIME OR PATIENCE, AND THE PEOPLE WILL SOON SEE THE SAME!”

“That’s where you are wrong, the people worship me as if I were their king for I bring their children happiness with the gifts I make, while they hate and despise you in every single way possible,” he scoffs with chauvinistic bravado.

“I’ll CUT you in pieces of SIX, nay TWELVE and then I’ll HANG you from EVERY tree I’m ABLE, just so I can show your PEOPLE who is their true KING!” Syrian spits venomously.

“Then I’ll become a martyr for their cause, and they’ll make this day my legacy, a day of gift and joy!” Toad croaks with a smugness only Toad could pull off.

Syrian’s lips curl, and his teeth clench tightly together. “YOU WILL BE NO MARTYR, THERE WILL BE NO DAY, NOT WHILE I STILL BREATH, AND NEITHER WILL YOU BE KING! YOU’LL BE A FOOTNOTE IN MY STORY, BUT ONLY TO ME, FOR THEY WILL FORGET YOU!” he bellows as he raises his hands into the air and lets out a hellish cry as the skies above them ignite with power, and Syrian rises into the air. He looks down upon Toad as his face twists in anger. “THE MOON ONCE HIGH WITH THE END IN SIGHT, I ASK MY ANCESTORS TO TURN THEIR HEADS AND CLOSE THEIR EYES, MY FLESH BE BURNT, MY BONES BE DUST, I WADE THROUGH TIME, I SEE THE END, REBORN WILL I BE IN THE FLESH OF ANOTHER, FOR IN MY DEATH I REMAKE MYSELF AND BECOME SOMEONE NEW!” he cries as a bolt of lightning tears through the sky and strikes him in the chest, vaporising him almost instantly. For many minutes after the skies send bolt after bolt down into the earth, tearing at the flesh that covers the spinning ball. Then as quickly as the skies darkened, they clear, and the stars shine brightly as far as the eyes can see once more.

Toad uneasily gets to his feet and kneads his swollen jaw tightly. “You old fool, even your magic has turned against you, your words fried YOU instead of ME” he hisses, drawing his sword at the ready as he does, as a handful of Syrian’s soldiers spill into the decimated courtyard.

“Drop your sword Toad, your pathetic quest to take the kingdom is over!” one of the soldiers yell out.

“YOU FOOLS, CAN’T YOU SEE I HAVE WON! LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS AND I’LL SPARE YOU ALL!” Toad snarls as he draws a second sword to the ready.

“WHILE WE STILL STAND, YOU HAVEN’T WON ANYTHING!” the soldier bellows as they charge towards Toad.

“So be it!” Toad hisses through clenched teeth as he tightens his grip on the blades and digs his heels into the earth. He strikes the first two low and high, his swords blade slicing through flesh and bone as if it were one in the same. He pivots, then leaps into the air, spinning like a graceful ballerina, coming back to earth behind the next three. With a crossed overed slash, he decapitates all three. Without looking he drives a sword to his behind, impaling a would-be attack, then spins around and takes his head off with the other sword. Thrusting his swords to the side he grits his teeth bare, and charges forward as the final solider stares on in horror. With a primeval cry barraging his eardrums Toad slices his blades up and down the soldier’s form, cutting him in two.

For a few seconds before he falls of in two different directions, the soldier’s eyes peer into the darkness, staring off just over Toad’s shoulder. He spins around to find Syrian’s ghostly form standing smugly in front of him.

“Y-Y-You can’t be!” he stammers before Syrian quickly glides forward and engulfs him in.

Toad drops to the earth, gaging for breath, spitting, spewing, screaming, before he collapses in a heap. For some time, he lies there unmoving, slowing bathing in the blood of those that have fallen beneath his sword on this day. After what seems like hours, but in truth is only minutes, Toad pulls himself to his feet, and stands like a newborn deer, trying to find its footing. “I can be, and you will not,” he sneers with a wicked smile upon his face.

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2022 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

 

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The Worm turns its ugly face towards the sun and grimaces with a distain unlike any it has felt before, then turns to the others and allows a stuttered breath to leave its lips. “We are going to bake in this weather if we don’t find some avenue of shelter, and if we bake, everyone else bakes as well.”
“Then what can we do, sitting ducks is what we are! SITTING DUCKS!” Ulander spits with fiery passion.
“The general and his minions five have us at his mercy. We can’t go back, for the river has risen, we can’t go down, because a sea of lava runs beneath us. Left and right are not options, for they bode the same fate that we face right now, just less barricades to protect us. So, we must go forward! We must take the fight to the devil in the red dress, and we must WIN!” he salivates with excited gusto.
“We can’t win, not against them, not like this!”
“Then LIKE what? TELL ME AND I WILL ACCOMMODATE! TELL ME WHAT WE NEED TO DO, TO KILL THAT PIECE OF SHIT! TELL ME AND I WILL FOLLOW!”
Ulander stares quietly at him, blinking softly while the others nervously watch on in silence.
“Stand up,” she says. “Stand up and let him shoot you down.”
A sea of sweat breaks out across The Worm’s brow, and his lips tremble. “W-W-W-What?”
She smiles wryly, “I said stand up, and show us that you are not leading us to our death. Stand up and prove the demonic one does not have you in his pocket.”
“I-I-I,” he stammers, as his eyes look over to the others. “I-I-I, I d-don’t need t-t-to prove anything to you.”
She raises her pistol. “LIAR! YOU NEED PROVE EVERYTHING! NOW STAND! STAND AND SHOW US YOU ARE NOT HIS MINION SIX!” she bellows, the others quickly follow suit, raising their assortment of foolhardy weapons towards him.
“N-N-NOW WAIT!” he cries out, as he raises his hands in the air, quickly surveying the area, before bringing his gaze back upon Ulander. “W-W-What makes y-y-you s-s-so sure I am l-leading us into a t-trap? W-W-Why couldn’t it b-be you who is w-w-working for the devil? W-Why can’t this b-b-be a ploy t-to trap us all?”
Her eyes widen, as her brow furrows. “B-Because I am n-not! Y-You are the traitor!”
“PROVE IT!” he spits quickly. “PROVE IT AND STAND UP, PROVE IT AN SHOW US ALL THAT YOU ARE NOT IN LEAUGE WITH THE DEVIL!”
“W-What?”
“E-EXACTLY!” he quips. “Q-Quick to lay j-judgment, but slow t-to act when the shoe c-changes feet.”
“I-I-I,” she stammers as the others slowly turn their weapons towards her. “I-I-I, I… THIS IS PROPOSTUROUS!” she bellows. “T-T-THIS WAS MY IDEA, N-NOT HIS! C-C-CAN’T YOU SEE W-WHAT H-HE’S DOING? H-HE’S TRICKING YOU ALL INTO B-BELIVEING I’M T-THE MOLE I ACUSUSED HIM OF BEING, J-JUST SO HE CAN TRICK US AGAIN!” she roars, as the others quickly move their aim back towards The Worm.
“REALLY!” he spits, as he throws his arms in the air. “SHE SAYS A FEW WORDS AND YOU ALL FOLLOW THEM AS IF THEY WERE GOSPEL! ARE YOU ALL TRUELY THAT GULLALABLE?”

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2022 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

 

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“I never spoke to anyone else about what you did, I swear, I told them what you wanted me to tell them and nothing else. I SWEAR!” Fergus spits with envious eyes through desperate lips.

Nick smiles allows a stifled laugh to escape his throat, “I know it wasn’t you, that’s why you’re still breathing my main man.”

“T-T-Then why d-d-did you bring me here?”

The smile on Nick’s lips broadens, and a grander laugh escapes his clutches this time. “Because I know you know who did.”

“N-N-No, no I don’t,” Fergus stammers nervously.

“That’s a LIE, because Susie told me otherwise!” Nick snarls as he grabs Fergus by the arm and drives the blade of a knife with a candy cane handle into the back of his hands, pinning it to the table between them.

“I-I-I, I SWEAR IT’S NOT! SHE’S LYING! I SWEAR I DON’T KNOW! SHE’S LYING! ASK HER AGAIN!”

“She has no more REASONS to lie, nothing left to hide, in those final moments.” he says with a wicked grin on his face while he nods towards the knife.

Fergus’ eyes widen in terror as noticed he congealed red liquid that covers the knife, before he stares up towards Nick’s smug face. “Y-Y-You killed h-her? B-B-But she didn’t k-know anything! S-S-She didn’t KNOW!” he spits frantically.

“I know,” Nick seethes with a satisfied sigh. “But I disputed you did, and now I know without a shadow of a doubt you do. So tell me, who betrayed my trust? Who spoiled my secret?”

“Y-Y-You killed her o-on a HUNCH! W-W-What if y-your h-hunch were w-wrong? What i-if I d-didn’t know? W-W-What if s-she lied?”

Nick’s smile widens until it reaches from ear to ear beneath his unkempt scraggly white beard. “You always forget about the list, don’t you Fergus? I checked it once, then I checked it twice, and this year I even checked it thrice just to be sure,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes, “And wouldn’t you know it Fergus, wouldn’t you dare, for each time I checked it, it told me the same thing in stereo, you and Susie, you both made my naughty list. I was shocked, and I was disappointed, for never has two of my most trusted humans ever made it on my NAUGHTY list, but you two, you two both were on there, bad eggs it said, b..”

“YOUR LIST IS A SHAM, AND THE RULES THAT GOVERN IT ARE OUTDATED! PARENTS AROUND THE WORLD BUY THEIR KIDS WHATEVER THEY ASK FOR, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU FUCKING LIST SAYS! SO DON’T RECIT YOUR LIST AS IF IT THEY ACRUALL MATTER!”

The grin upon Nick’s lips fades, and his brow furrows beneath the red stocking cap that clutches tightly to his skull. “My list is not a SHAM! MY list is the only LIST that MATTERS, and it says you are NAUGHTY, so naughty you MUST BE!” he growls as he leans in towards Fergus, blocking out all the light with his immense form. “NOW, tell me the names of those who have challenged my reign? Tell me who thinks they can take Christmas away from Nick Claus?”

“Y-Y-YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME! Y-Y-YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME!” Fergus bellows.

“Try me!” Nick growls. “Try me and see!”

“I-I-IT’S YOU NICK! I-I-IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU! NO ONE ELSE WANT’S TO OWN CHRISTMAS AS MUCH AS YOU DO!”

Nick’s face drops, and he looks at Fergus in confusion. “W-W-What the devil d-d-do you mean it was me? H-H-How could it be me?”

“The same way you manage to deliver present to all the house across the world in one night.”

“OH MY GOD! T-T-The c-clones?” Nick stammers as he fells the sharp end of a blade dig into his back, followed by the warmth of his attacker’s breath on the back of his neck.

“HO-HO-HO!” a voice sings sarcastically into his ear as the darkness drags him down.

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2022 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

 

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The last breath leaves Clifford’s body, and the room falls silent, as all eyes turn towards the floor, and nay the sound of those in attendance breathing is all that fills the room. But for Clifford, it is a whole different world that is thrust at his feet.
He falls through the air at a rate of knots unfathomable, and then with the impact that should spread his innards to his outs, he hits the hardened earth with a thump. Wearily he pulls his undamaged form from the ground and looks around with eyes full of horror.
“W-W-W-What have I-I-I, I done t-t-to d-deserve this?” he stammers through parched lips.
“Where do you want me to start, with the WHORE you fucked, stabbed and robbed in New Ham, or was it that time you masturbated to you mum sucking your best friend Carl’s dick the night you came back from college, or maybe it was when you took her yourself later that night, in the dark, pretending to Carl! Are those enough to see fit your place in this sinful realm, or do you wish for me to spill more?”
“I-I-I, I n-n-neve…”
“DON’T LIE TO ME CLIFFORD, FOR I AM THE KING OF ALL THAT IS, AND IS NOT! FOR YOU SEE, A LIE HERE WILL COST YOU SEVERAL LIFETIMES OF PAIN, OF COUSE THE TRUTH DOES THE SAME!” a naked red fleshed figure snarls as it strides before him, its twelve-inch cock pulsating, while milk drips from the nipples of its enormous breasts.
“W-W-W-WHAT ARE Y-YOU!” Clifford screams as he scrambles away, his eyes wide, his flesh pale and cold.
He smiles and licks his lips with a forked tongue. “Are we both going to play this game, or can we move on to the next part of your eternal punishment?”
“I-I-I, I d-d-don’t de…”
“LIAR!” it bellows as it grips Clifford by the skull and lifts him into the air. “YOU ARE A GREEDY, SINFUL LITTLE MAN. A WEED IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN, WHO STUCK HIS LIMP DICK INTO HIS OWN MOTHER AND IMPREGNATED HER WITH HIS DARK FUCKED UP SEED! YOU VIOLATED THAT WHICH WAS WRITTEN BY HE WHO GOVERNED IT ALL, AND NOW, NOW YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE FOR THAT AND ALL THE OTHER SINS YOU COLLECTED DURING YOUR ROTTEN LIFE!” it bellows as his thrusts a clawed hand high into the air and brings it down towards the screaming Clifford. But before the hand hits, the world is going and he is sitting in a pale room, across from a old man who stares at him blankly.
“Hello Clifford, I’ve been waiting for you,” the old man says with a long-winded sigh.
“A-A-Are you G-G-God?” Clifford stammers.
The man smiles broadly and nods his head with proud gusto. “No,” he says as he beings shaking his head. “I am not God.”
“T-T-Then where am I-I if y-you’re not God?”
The old man shrugs his shoulder. “FUCKED if I know, I was just asked to wait here for you. I was hoping you’d be able to tell me what the HELL I was doing here, not the other way around.”
Clifford blinks several times, before the old man bursts out laughing, slapping his thighs with excited jubilation. “JUST KIDDING! OF COURSE I’M GOD! WHO ELSE WOULD I BE, IF I WASN’T GOD!” the old man roars with laughter.
“T-T-Thank G-G-God,” Clifford sighs as he falls back in the seat. “F-F-For a minute there I thought you were the other guy trying to t-trick me.”
The smile drops from the old man’s lips, and he stares at Clifford deathly. “So it worked then,” he says as the red fleshed creature tears out of the little man’s form, grabs Lifford by the skull, and swallows him whole. “Gestate on that for a while mamma’s boy, and we’ll pick up in a century or two,” it says with a heartly laugh, while Clifford screams in terror as he slides ever downwards, towards his never ever end.

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2022 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

 

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press above to go and follow my Amazon Author Page

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“I can’t believe that’s what it truly is, I mean, if they’re real what else is?” he asks as he turns back and looks at the others in a perplexed manner.

“Daddy said your imagination is only as strong as your belief, and if you believe enough, anything is possible.”

Patrick rolls his eyes and sighs loudly. “Clare, don’t take this the wrong way, but your Daddy is a complete moron, and he’d say anything to keep you asking too many questions.”

“W-W-What does that mean?” she cries as she turns to her father with wide doughy dog eyes.

He casts a wayward glance over to Patrick, and sneers. “Yeah, little brother, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”

Patrick puts his hands in the air and smiles nervously. “Calm the FUCK down bro, I-I, I was just pulling your leg is all.” he says as he sheepishly turns back to Clare. “I was joking honey, your dad, your dad is one of the smartest men I know, and that’s why I like to joke about him every now and then, because it makes me feel smarter,” he says with a soft smile, as he throws his brother a quick glance and winks at him sarcastically.

“Look, can we stop trying to win that coveted retarted family of the year award, and focus on the real problem at hand!” Selena spits from the doorway.

“Why don’t you get over here and say that, instead of standing in the doorway like some loser with no friends,” Patrick says proudly.

“I’d rather have no friends and be alive, than be you and dead.”

“Ouch, I see your wife still dislikes me.”

“No one likes you Patrick, it’s why I moved halfway around the world after mum and dad died, but you FUCKING followed me here, didn’t you?”

“SHIT STANLEY! I suddenly feel like this has turned into a everyone hates Patrick party, and I’m the guest of honour who wasn’t invited!”

“I don’t hate you Uncle Patrick, you’re the most bestest uncle in the whole entire world,” Clare says with a beaming smile across her face as she tugs on his shirt corner.

He smiles softly and gives her a wink. “Thanks muffin top, I knew I could count on you, even if I am your only uncle.”

“ARE WE DONE!” Selena bellows from the doorway once more. “ARE WE ALL HAPPY AND CONTENT NOW?”

“I don’t know, are there blow jobs later on?”

“What the FUCK?” Stanley seethes as he guides Clare out of the way and shapes himself up to his brother.

“Hey big guy calm down, I’m only asking for a friend, honestly!” he says as he gives Stanley a wink while a sly smile draws itself across his face. Without hesitation Stanley drives a well-placed punch into Patrick’s kidney, sending him stumbling across the room.

“GIVE ME ONE MORE REASON! JUST ONE AND I’LL GIVE YOU THAT BEATING I ALWAYS PROMISED YOU!” Stanley growls.

“FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP FIGHTING AND LOOK AT THE WALL! SOMETHINGS MOVING!” Selena screams, as everyone’s attention turns back to the crudely constructed nest that sits up in the topmost corner of the wall.

Clare’s eyes widen and a huge smile adorns her face. “SEE! SEE! I TOLD YOU IT WAS WHERE HEATHER LIVED!” she cries as the small toylike Christmas elf craws out of the hole and stares down at the group, then bares rows of razor-sharp teeth and leaps towards them, followed by several hundred smaller ones that crawl out of the nest behind her.

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2021 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

press above to go and follow me over in Facebookland

press above to go and follow my Amazon Author Page

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Trevor looks out over the golden hills and takes a gently sip on the warm cup of coffee that he cradles tightly in his hands. A flock of bird’s swim past in the bright blue sky, singing a song that you would believe was recorded in a studio, rather than being constructed before your eyes. He allows a smile to wrap itself across his puckered lips, and sighs contently as he leans back into his multicolored deck chair.
A chime calls out from within the small cottage, and he pulls himself to his feet with jovial excitement, dancing his way across the deck, and into the small open planned kitchen, where several pots boil on the stove top. He whistles contently to himself as he moves his way from one pot to the next, wafting the aromas of the pot’s contents into his face with a several waves of his hands. With a broad smile he pulls a spoon from the pocket of his jacket and scoops up a small serve that he thrusts straight into his mouth.
“Perfect!” he announces proudly as he stashes the spoon back into the pocket and grabs a towel as he pulls the door of the oven open. He leans in and takes a long deep breath in, almost stripping the flesh from the browning bird that bakes in a stew of juices, oils, and cloves. He licks his lips and pokes the flesh with a pronged fork, then shakes his head as he takes a step back and closes the door once more.
“Not yet, not yet.” he hums as he pats the sweat from his face, and dances around the room once more.
A sudden knock on a door that appears at the other end of the lounge area interrupts his dancing and brings him to a stop. For seconds he stands there, his eyes transfixed on the strange doorway, several more knocks are thrust against the door which send him jumping from the ground and staggering clumsily backwards in fright.
“TREVOR!” a voice calls out. “TREVOR, I NEED YOU TO OPEN THE DOOR!”
“W-W-W-WHO A-ARE YOU?” Trevor nervously cries. “I-I-I, I WAS T-TOLD THERE W-WOULDN’T BE A-ANY I-INTERUPPTUONS!”
“YES, YES! I KNOW THAT WAS WHAT YOU WERE TOLD, BUT THINGS HAVE CHANGED TREVOR, THINGS HAVE EVOLVED. WE TRIED CALLING YOU, SEVERAL TIMES IN FACT, BUT YOU NEVER ANSWERED THE PHONE.”
Trevor’s eyes quickly glance over to the pile of destroyed phones in the corner. “I-I-I, I NEVER HEARD THE PHONE RING!” he answers with a high-pitched cry.
“YOU DIDN’T GET OUT LETTERS?”
“N-N-NO! I-I, I NEVER GOT THOSE EITHER!” Trevor calls out, as he looks over at several stacks of letters that are tightly bound into bundles in another corner of the room.
“Well, that is unusual, isn’t it, I delivered most of the letters myself,” the figure says from behind him, causing Trevor to scream out in terror, as he scrambles away in panic.
“W-W-WHAT DO YOU WANT!” Trevor bellows as he holds his forms a cross with two fingers and holds them up towards the figure.
“Really? Do you think that is going to send me on my way?” the figure asks, as he looks over the crude cross and into Trevor’s petrified eyes.
“I-I-I, I don’t k-know! I-I, I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE! I-I-I, I JUST WANT TO BE B-BY MYSELF!”
The figure sighs loudly. “You and everyone else, you and everyone else.” he says as a gentle smile paints itself across his lips. “But times are a changing Trevor, the youth of today are telling us the old model has to change with the times, we have to be for everyone without exception. I know Dad was against it all, the old sod was stubborn until the end, but the end indeed did come, and now it falls on me to shape Heaven into something we can all enjoy, something we can all call home.” Jesus says proudly.

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2022 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

 

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