“I never spoke to anyone else about what you did, I swear, I told them what you wanted me to tell them and nothing else. I SWEAR!” Fergus spits with envious eyes through desperate lips.

Nick smiles allows a stifled laugh to escape his throat, “I know it wasn’t you, that’s why you’re still breathing my main man.”

“T-T-Then why d-d-did you bring me here?”

The smile on Nick’s lips broadens, and a grander laugh escapes his clutches this time. “Because I know you know who did.”

“N-N-No, no I don’t,” Fergus stammers nervously.

“That’s a LIE, because Susie told me otherwise!” Nick snarls as he grabs Fergus by the arm and drives the blade of a knife with a candy cane handle into the back of his hands, pinning it to the table between them.

“I-I-I, I SWEAR IT’S NOT! SHE’S LYING! I SWEAR I DON’T KNOW! SHE’S LYING! ASK HER AGAIN!”

“She has no more REASONS to lie, nothing left to hide, in those final moments.” he says with a wicked grin on his face while he nods towards the knife.

Fergus’ eyes widen in terror as noticed he congealed red liquid that covers the knife, before he stares up towards Nick’s smug face. “Y-Y-You killed h-her? B-B-But she didn’t k-know anything! S-S-She didn’t KNOW!” he spits frantically.

“I know,” Nick seethes with a satisfied sigh. “But I disputed you did, and now I know without a shadow of a doubt you do. So tell me, who betrayed my trust? Who spoiled my secret?”

“Y-Y-You killed her o-on a HUNCH! W-W-What if y-your h-hunch were w-wrong? What i-if I d-didn’t know? W-W-What if s-she lied?”

Nick’s smile widens until it reaches from ear to ear beneath his unkempt scraggly white beard. “You always forget about the list, don’t you Fergus? I checked it once, then I checked it twice, and this year I even checked it thrice just to be sure,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes, “And wouldn’t you know it Fergus, wouldn’t you dare, for each time I checked it, it told me the same thing in stereo, you and Susie, you both made my naughty list. I was shocked, and I was disappointed, for never has two of my most trusted humans ever made it on my NAUGHTY list, but you two, you two both were on there, bad eggs it said, b..”

“YOUR LIST IS A SHAM, AND THE RULES THAT GOVERN IT ARE OUTDATED! PARENTS AROUND THE WORLD BUY THEIR KIDS WHATEVER THEY ASK FOR, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU FUCKING LIST SAYS! SO DON’T RECIT YOUR LIST AS IF IT THEY ACRUALL MATTER!”

The grin upon Nick’s lips fades, and his brow furrows beneath the red stocking cap that clutches tightly to his skull. “My list is not a SHAM! MY list is the only LIST that MATTERS, and it says you are NAUGHTY, so naughty you MUST BE!” he growls as he leans in towards Fergus, blocking out all the light with his immense form. “NOW, tell me the names of those who have challenged my reign? Tell me who thinks they can take Christmas away from Nick Claus?”

“Y-Y-YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME! Y-Y-YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME!” Fergus bellows.

“Try me!” Nick growls. “Try me and see!”

“I-I-IT’S YOU NICK! I-I-IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU! NO ONE ELSE WANT’S TO OWN CHRISTMAS AS MUCH AS YOU DO!”

Nick’s face drops, and he looks at Fergus in confusion. “W-W-What the devil d-d-do you mean it was me? H-H-How could it be me?”

“The same way you manage to deliver present to all the house across the world in one night.”

“OH MY GOD! T-T-The c-clones?” Nick stammers as he fells the sharp end of a blade dig into his back, followed by the warmth of his attacker’s breath on the back of his neck.

“HO-HO-HO!” a voice sings sarcastically into his ear as the darkness drags him down.

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2022 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

 

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