“I can’t believe that’s what it truly is, I mean, if they’re real what else is?” he asks as he turns back and looks at the others in a perplexed manner.

“Daddy said your imagination is only as strong as your belief, and if you believe enough, anything is possible.”

Patrick rolls his eyes and sighs loudly. “Clare, don’t take this the wrong way, but your Daddy is a complete moron, and he’d say anything to keep you asking too many questions.”

“W-W-What does that mean?” she cries as she turns to her father with wide doughy dog eyes.

He casts a wayward glance over to Patrick, and sneers. “Yeah, little brother, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”

Patrick puts his hands in the air and smiles nervously. “Calm the FUCK down bro, I-I, I was just pulling your leg is all.” he says as he sheepishly turns back to Clare. “I was joking honey, your dad, your dad is one of the smartest men I know, and that’s why I like to joke about him every now and then, because it makes me feel smarter,” he says with a soft smile, as he throws his brother a quick glance and winks at him sarcastically.

“Look, can we stop trying to win that coveted retarted family of the year award, and focus on the real problem at hand!” Selena spits from the doorway.

“Why don’t you get over here and say that, instead of standing in the doorway like some loser with no friends,” Patrick says proudly.

“I’d rather have no friends and be alive, than be you and dead.”

“Ouch, I see your wife still dislikes me.”

“No one likes you Patrick, it’s why I moved halfway around the world after mum and dad died, but you FUCKING followed me here, didn’t you?”

“SHIT STANLEY! I suddenly feel like this has turned into a everyone hates Patrick party, and I’m the guest of honour who wasn’t invited!”

“I don’t hate you Uncle Patrick, you’re the most bestest uncle in the whole entire world,” Clare says with a beaming smile across her face as she tugs on his shirt corner.

He smiles softly and gives her a wink. “Thanks muffin top, I knew I could count on you, even if I am your only uncle.”

“ARE WE DONE!” Selena bellows from the doorway once more. “ARE WE ALL HAPPY AND CONTENT NOW?”

“I don’t know, are there blow jobs later on?”

“What the FUCK?” Stanley seethes as he guides Clare out of the way and shapes himself up to his brother.

“Hey big guy calm down, I’m only asking for a friend, honestly!” he says as he gives Stanley a wink while a sly smile draws itself across his face. Without hesitation Stanley drives a well-placed punch into Patrick’s kidney, sending him stumbling across the room.

“GIVE ME ONE MORE REASON! JUST ONE AND I’LL GIVE YOU THAT BEATING I ALWAYS PROMISED YOU!” Stanley growls.

“FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP FIGHTING AND LOOK AT THE WALL! SOMETHINGS MOVING!” Selena screams, as everyone’s attention turns back to the crudely constructed nest that sits up in the topmost corner of the wall.

Clare’s eyes widen and a huge smile adorns her face. “SEE! SEE! I TOLD YOU IT WAS WHERE HEATHER LIVED!” she cries as the small toylike Christmas elf craws out of the hole and stares down at the group, then bares rows of razor-sharp teeth and leaps towards them, followed by several hundred smaller ones that crawl out of the nest behind her.

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2021 and read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

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