Don’t Scramble My Eggs – KILLtober Short Story

They both sit there staring at the egg in silence for what seems like an eternity, until Toby eventually turns towards Mitchell. “So, do you think it really is a dragon egg?”

Mitchell rolls his eyes before smiling broadly, “Fuck yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Well, Burton could’ve been lying about it being a dragon egg for starters, and then there’s the whole bullshit story of how he came to have it in his possession in the first place.”


“Mate, you are kidding yourself on so many levels. Burton wouldn’t lie to us, because he’d know what I’d do to him if I found out that retard was fucking us around, and why do you think his story is bullshit? It made sense to me.”

Mitchell stares at him for several moments, is eyes widening the longer he stared.

“WHAT?” Toby say, shoving Mitchell away.

“You really are as dense as they all say you are, aren’t you?”

“What the FUCK is that supposed to mean? Who says I’m dense?” Toby says grabbing Mitchell by the collar and threatening to hit him with a raised fist.

“Go on, do it an see where it gets you?” Mitchell says sternly.

“FUCK YOU!” Toby says as he shoves Mitchell away, and quickly clambers to his feet.

“You ain’t my type,” Mitchell says as he springs to his feet and pops a well-placed punch into Toby’s jaw, sending him to the ground in a heap.

“WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO THAT FOR?” Toby cries as he grabs his red pulsating jaw.

“Reminding you who runs the roost, do you need more reminding?” Mitchell says as he tightens both hands into fists.

They lock eyes as both boys allow their imagination fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle, and it’s only when the result is obviously a forgone conclusion that Toby pulls his gaze away.

“No, I get the picture,” he mutters underneath his breath.

“Sorry? Did you just say something?” Mitchell asks, as he cups one of his ears with a hand to give the impression of needing an amplifier to hear his words.

“I SAID NO!” Toby yells back.

“I thought as much,” Mitchell says with a wry smile.

Toby screws up his face, then nods towards the egg. “Now what did you mean about Burton’s story being full of shit?”

Mitchell’s smile grows larger as he crouches down beside Toby. “Let me paint the scene for you, just so you can get a really good picture in your mind. It’s midnight, maybe a little later. The moon ain’t out because the cloud coverage is thick, and the moon just can’t find a way to get through. Burton and his mates Bucktooth Clifford and Jerk-weed Jones as out playing knights of the round table, or some nerdy shit like that because that’s what the little poofters do at night. How’s the imagination going, are you with me?” He asks.

“I’m fucking with you, just get on with it!”

“Don’t be so impatient, it’s all about the theatrical valve. You don’t have that, you don’t have anything. Anyway, Burton’s running around after taking a load off one of his boys and falls down a ditch, in said ditch he finds a whole swag of these eggs,” Mitchell says, pointing towards the large glowing egg. “After some nerd study montage the three of them come to the conclusion that the eggs they have found are dragon eggs, and that because you are such a great friend to the three of them, and would never ever hurt any of them ever, that you deserve to have one of these rare eggs as well. Don’t you think, after listening to it as it really happened, that it sounds a bit like they’re pulling your leg to make you look like the dumb fuck you’re proving yourself to be?”

Toby looks over to the egg, and then to Mitchell once more and jumps to his feet. “Those fucking nerds are going to regret THIS!” he yells as he kicks the egg, causing the egg to crack open. Both of their jaws drop open as they stare at the half formed baby dragon that lies lifeless in the remains of the egg.

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