…The light blinks repeatedly before finally exploding in a grand display of pomp and circumstance. Derek shields himself with his arm, gritting his teeth together tightly before he screams like a child who has been grabbed by the monster that was unfortunately, regardless of what daddy said, hiding beneath their bed. Seconds pass into minutes as he stays there, shielding himself and drawing in desperate breath after desperate breath, until finally he casts a wayward glance from beneath his elbow and spies red satin socks firmly encased in a pair of Hermes Birkenstock’s.

“You can come out from beneath your little armpit Derek, the deed is now done,” a deep smooth voice announces proudly.

“A-A-Are you sure it’s s-s-safe?”

“Would I tell you otherwise if it was not?”

“I-I-I, I don’t F-FUCKING know, y-y-ou told me this w-wouldn’t be s-such a thing, b-but it turned into o-one!”

“Oh please Derek, you make it sound like I asked you to bring me the crown jewels!”

“THAT would’ve been LESS of a challenge!” he spits as he launches himself to his feet and stares definitely into the eyes of the devil himself…..