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I had a moment, not too long ago, it could’ve been hours, or minutes, days even for all I know, but it was a realization, as the truth dawned on me, and then, moments later, disappeared into the void as though it was a clouds passing by, and the image I saw in it, the…
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Yet again he mocks from where he hides, come out, see me, I’ll show you my scars and, I’ll show you the beast, in all its glory, and then it will feast upon your sin! What Gareth? Are you afraid of this withered beast?
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I finally, after days, almost a week in fact, found the salvation of sleep. But, it did not come to me gently, honestly I regret it ever happening now. When I closed my eyes, and drifted off into that unknown bliss, I was taken on a journey, one that had no purpose, only to pry…
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I had another visitor last night, someone new, it was 3am when I heard the banging on the door, I could see the flashing lights through the gap beneath the door frame. I was instantly charged, my whole body a mess of misfiring electrical impulses. As I gripped the door handle, a shot of pain ripped…
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He mocks me the bastard, trying to twist my pain, making light of my darkness, my falling. It arrived in my inbox this morning, the email address, fake, non-existent. Gareth, why? Why do you do this? What did I ever do to you?
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In my delusional state early this morning I heard it, at first, I thought it was in my head, just another voice added to the whispers that already inhabit my sleep deprived brain. But then I saw her, silhouetted against the couch, she wasn’t really there, I knew that straight away, but, it still didn’t seem…
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Sleep still did not come to me again, I wished for it, I begged it to come, but, it did not. It’s been 3 nights now, 3 long nights, 4 long days without sleep, my mind is beginning to betray me, I think, I’m not alone here. strange things are happening, stranger than before, if it can…
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So tired, things are confusing enough, but now I can’t sleep, every time I close my eyes I see them, covered in blood, screaming, as I cut them, then, god… I need these images out of my head, I need, release. This fucking blog is the cause of it all, before I heard of this…
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Time to break character, with nine days remaining for the 365 challenge to be completed many things have transpired over the last few weeks, namely the biggest one, Marty Towns, one of the main characters from my ‘The Roundhead’ story has, if you haven’t realised by now, somehow come to life and taken over the blog,…
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As we move forward in this new age, this new headspace, I took the time to look back over some of the great writers who were part of Fear In Fear’s original run and realize, I cannot do this on my own. So I’m calling out to you, writers, artists, creators, if you have something dark,…
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Fear In Fear Magazine is reborn, my past is being used against me, twisted and turned into something it’s not by someone I once called friend. Gareth, your demented journey will soon be at an end, by bringing Matthew into this world, by filling his shoes with flesh and bone you have only angered the…
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Why? Its the only real question I have left to ask. Gareth, why have you done this to me? Why have you tried to twist everything I am into this pale, unrecognizable face? What did I do to you that made you so bitter? We were friends, comrades in arms, why did you create this…
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I need to know I’m not the only one who hears it, I need to know I’m not losing my mind. Images in my head, blood over everything, their dead eyes, looking at me, I can’t tell if it’s just my imagination or if it’s real, memories lost, now regained. I need someone to hear me,…
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I’ve woken up badly today, it seems my night, went longer than I anticipated it would. It was sometime around 7:00am that I finally closed my eyes to rest. So much of the night is a blur, but what I do remember, what I can recall, make no sense. I tried calling Clare today, after…
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How do I start this post when all my thoughts are still not sure what they saw, what they heard. When my brain is telling me 1 thing and seconds later something else, I feel like everything I am is being pulled this way, and that way, as I constantly struggle against urges, visions of…
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I don’t want to start off another Daily Grind with another story of something unusual happening, but, its what seems to be the current trend at the moment. Little sleep, and nightmares, that seem to be coming more from out there, than from inside my head. I tried not to sleep last night, I truly…
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Don’t judge me, don’t criticize my choices, what I do, I do because I have to, not because I want to. Right now, at this moment I should be aboard my flight, heading towards my past, heading to Sydney, but instead I’m still here, trying to deal with everything that happened last night, or this…
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Tomorrow morning I fly across the strait, across a quarter of this great land, and face my past, face my mistakes, my greatest mistakes, head on. To say that I’m not worried would be lying, I’m petrified, stressed, and on top of that, this house is giving me bad vibes. Last night, when I finally…
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Time and time again, I find myself asking the question, why? Valid? Of course it is, we ask ourselves why all the time, about every move we make, about every decision, citing it to ourselves at a later date, why the choice had to be made, why we, did what we did. When Fear In…
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I’m nervously anticipating the weekend, it’s been almost 8 years since Clare left with the girls, 8 years of being lost in my own self pity, my own nightmare. I haven’t called, I can’t, if I lose my nerve before I’m even there I’ll never go, so I have to go in blind, and hope it all works…