“I don’t get it,” he says looking up from the tablet confused. She laughs, rolling her eyes and pouting her lips, mocking him.
“You of all people would have to be the one who says that,” she sighs, the smile dropping from her face. “Tell me Shakespeare, what don’t you get?”
He smiles nervously, “W-Well I guess my biggest problem is none of it makes sense, like totally none of it,” he says, fidgeting in his seat.
“You swinging for the nosebleed section with that one Romeo,” a voice says, while she stares at him blankly, as if she were frozen in time. He looks around the room searching for the owner of the voice, and slowly realises that the rest of the room is frozen in place as well. He tightens his eyes, peering out the window to the world beyond. Slowly his mouth drops open, everything and everyone seems locked in time, except of course him.
“W-W-What the fuck is g….”
“Oh please, can we avoid using profanity Nigel, that’s not how you were brought up, was it?” the voice interrupts, that’s when he sees the pale figure, dressed in a black flowing cloak that seems to wrap itself around its body, perched on the top rail of a chairs back, some tables away.
“W-W-W-What are you?” stutters Nigel.
“Shouldn’t that be, who are you?” it says, smiling broadly, revealing a mouthful of rotten teeth.
Nigel screams and falls backwards in his seat, smashing his head on the floor. For a few moments the world explodes, pain tears through the back of his head. Black and white flashes encompass his view, and he begins mumbling incoherent words under his breath as he pulls himself uneasily to his feet, staring directly into the empty, lifeless eyes of the thing, as it sits, crouched on the top of his table.
“I was hoping for something a little less dramatic Nigel, but no, of course YOU had to pull a massive drama queen, didn’t you? Your head okay?”
“W-W-W-Who, who are y-y-y-you?” Nigel whispers rubbing the back of his head.
“Right, that’s a better place to start. My name is Belgaldoul, and I’m your, well, let’s say for ‘the sake of explanation, I’m your fairy god mother and I’m here to stop you making a grave mistake.”
“M-M-M-MY FAIRY GODMOTHER?”
“I know, I know, Disney lied about the wings, the little one-piece dresses, the long legs and those melons you children lust after. But that ain’t my fault, I mean I told him, honestly I did. Hell, I still remember the day like it happened five minutes ago, I said, Walt, the world ain’t gonna buy this slutty version, just give them the real deal, let them see us for what we really are, without all the sugar coating. But as you know, he did what he felt was right, and well fuck, everyone knows who the guy was, so maybe he was right. Anyway let’s not get caught up in all the bullshit, it’s so time-consuming, all you need to know is I am indeed your fairy godmother, if that’s how you want to refer to me, I’ve been called worse in the past,” Belgaldoul says, stuffing Nigel’s half eaten hamburger into his mouth.
“W-W-What d-d-do you want?”
Belgaldoul holds a hand up, as he chews quickly and swallows, letting out a gasp, almost as if he was struggling for air, choking on the poorly chewed burger. “SARAH!” he says desperately, as he grabs Nigel’s coke, and pours it down his throat, and gasps for air once again. “S-Sorry, eating is such a rare treat, I get carried away,” he says with an awkward smile, bits of the burger still firmly stuck in his rotten teeth.
Nigel stands there in silence, his face strains with confusion, his mouth opens and closes, his lips quiver, but no words come forth. Belgaldoul tilts his head to the side, curiously studying Nigel’s face, then begins to laugh, leaping down from the table.
“You humans are so entertaining, I sometimes forget what it’s like to be,” he says proudly.
“Y-You were like me? A person?”
Belgaldoul laughs louder this time, “YES! I was once like you, a person as you put it. An awfully long time ago, centuries I’m sure,” he pauses, and stares blankly off into the nothingness of space and time, before dragging himself back to the here and now with a shake of his head. He places a cold, rough hand on Nigel’s shoulder, and squeezes.
“But none of that is important, what is, is that you don’t tell her the truth, that you don’t ruin her dreams. For it will inadvertently cause your path to steer away from where you need to be, from where you must venture.”
“W-Where do I need to be?” Nigel asks softly.
Belgaldoul grabs Nigel’s head, and turns it towards Sarah, “With her you idiot,” he says.
“WHAT! SARAH? NO WAY! We’re just good friends, nothing else, and anyway, she’s not my type,” he says quickly. Belgaldoul laughs loudly again.
“Oh Nigel, you poor misguided fool. I see no bevy of available women hunting you down, all I see is the calluses on your palms from masturbating all too frequently. Look at her man, she wants you, why do you think she even gives you the time of day? Take a shot, you never know where fate may take you, if you do.”
“D-D-D-Do, do you know?” he asks softly.
“I know everything my friend, and trust me, hit that nerd before she wakes up and sees you for the loser you really are.”

***

Follow the below link to purchase A Twisted Halloween 2017 to read all 31 five minute short stories.

Before you lies a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know or imagine. For scrawled in blood upon the pages hidden within the above tome is stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too…

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