Tag: Humor

“The suffocation I feel is painfully uncomfortable, why do you wish to know more? Isn’t that enough?”
“Nothing is enough when there is true desire within all we are. I want to taste everything you are and know that even in the deep dark places where the salt forms within you that I know of what you are, and in that I will know the truth of what is and what is not. Breathe upon me and let us both know we are what we are. Sinner or angel, liar or thief, give me what I desire and together we will be complete,” Raquiox says as he steps out into the light of the candle and smiles.
“You are not of this plane, why do you desire such things?”
“It matters little for me to know what is and what is not, what matters is what was and can be. Do not desire what you can only dream to understand, desire what you can feel with your own two hands. Then we can all sit together, and know there are no lies between us.”
He laughs sarcastically, “As always, you avoid the question by answering it with one of your fucking riddles. Why don’t you riddle this right up your arse, because I’m sick of it! Why can’t you speak words that make sense instead of insane dribble!”
He leans forward, causing the candle to flicker wildly and cast animated shadows of debortuary and sin across the rooms walls. “Because I’m the devil, and I can,” Raquiox says with a wry, evil smile.

“I cannot be responsible for your pessimism, for it is not my fault! Why don’t you blame those who are really responsible, the ones up you’ve surrounded yourself with your entire life. They are the ones who should hold some sort of blame in what you are!”
“It’s not pessimism you manipulative son-of-a-bitch, it’s the reality of what is, is. We’ve seen things go from grander things to the bucket, and if I was to cast a glance back to see where it all started going this way it would be the day YOU took over,” Fletcher says venomously.
“Bullshit, you can’t drag this back to me. When I walked in the door the writing had been on the wall for a long time, you all just ignored it. I made decisions based on real survival techniques. I salvaged many dwindling relationships with outside sources. I gave this company a new breath of air to live from, so don’t talk down to me you pathetic simpleton.”
“Talk down to you? What makes it seem like I’m talking down to you? I’m giving you facts because you want them more than anyone else I’ve ever encountered. You talk about paths and where this connects to that all the time. You produce paper trails for shit rolls. You draw diagrams to show me how the level of rain effects our business in minute increments. I’m just doing the same, but with more defined logic. If you truly wanted us to be more, you’d take your head from your arse and see the true nature of what we are and not micro manage every second of your work day so you feel like you accomplish something, when in fact you accomplish nothing but passing the time required on your pay sheet.”
“What make you think I need to fill out a time sheet?”
They stare silently into each other’s eyes, then Cole looks down into the sink, focusing intently on the water that fills half of the basin, before looking back up into the mirror.
“Fuck you, you pathetic bastard! I QUIT!” He yells as he drives a fist into the mirror, shattering it into a few dozen pieces.

“Why do we see what we know to be a lie as something more than it could ever be, when we know deep within everything we are that this things we hold so high above all things is a lie?”
“What?” Jarvis says as he screws his face up in confusion.
“Don’t pretend you are oblivious to the nature of the beast, for we are all cut from the same cloth, and all I question is this one thing, why?”
“Why what?”
“Why the lie we chose to believe.”
“I think you’ve lost me somewhere along the line. I thought we were talking about how well the Cardinals played on the weekend, not life’s biggest mysteries,” Jarvis says shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he stares hopelessly towards the frozen traffic in front of them.
“That’s my point, I don’t know and neither do you. So when you asked and I told you they lost by twelve points you didn’t bat an eyelid. That’s how we started talking about lies, and how we just accept them even though we know they’re lies.”
Jarvis rolls his eyes and sighs. “I didn’t know the score, so how in the hell would I know you were lying dipshit?”
“They played the Reapers man, the team that’s set up the foundations of their home base at the bottom of the fucking ladder. How gullible would you need to be to believe that the number one team would lose by twelve points to them?”
Jarvis sighs again and stares out his window at the driver in the car next to them, feeling jealous that he is not also alone in his car instead of sharing with Steve. “Yeah I guess you’re right, I should’ve realised you were pull…..”
Steve starts roaring with laughter, slapping the steering wheel with gusto. “I was lying again, the Reapers don’t even exist. I made them up you gullible twat!”

As the light fades away Darwin lowers his gaze towards the muddy ground below and tightens his hands into fists.
“Until the end then?” A voice says from the nothingness.
“It was always the goal, why have a beginning and a end, if one does not utilise them to their utmost potential.”
The voice laughs a vile, deep laugh. “Who would’ve thought you knew how to use the word potential, let alone understand the very complexities of what using it means.”
“Is this to be it?”
“What is it?”
“The end. Is this how my death is to be, stuck in this nothingness with you?”
The voice laughs again. “Oh how one wishes they had the time Darwin, but sadly for us both I do not. You see old friend, even though you have fallen, there still breathes billions or more who think they know how to play the game I created. Billions who believe they know how to shut the gates to my domain and free all who suffer within. Billions who need to be shown as you have been, that there is only one true devil, and he is more than any of you pathetic monkeys could ever know.”
“Pride will be your undoing!” Darwin screams into the darkness.
“Pride is a sin of the flesh, not of a god. Goodbye Darwin, may your stay be the forever torment you so deserve it to be.”

“One thing I need to know before I go,” Carol asks looking nervously towards Ricky. He smiles playfully and shuffles back into his seat.
“Hit me,” He says enthusiastically.
Her cheeks glow bright red, and she feels her stomach twist, she swallows and smiles. “W-W-When your character died in the season eight final, why did it take you two seasons to return to the show?”
His smile broadens as he licks his lips and he leans forward, squeezing his hands together tightly.
“What do you think happened?”
She sits there for a few moments as her brain tries to decipher the question he just threw at her. She can feel beads of sweat forcing their way out on the air.
“A-S-Some of the stories say you saw yourself as a bigger star, and wanted to flex your muscles on the big screen, other said you went into rehab, or asked for more money so they killed you off. But honestly, I don’t believe anyone of them. I’ve been a fan since you first showed up in an episode of Supernatural, twelve years ago and I don’t think any of those sound like you.”
He smiles, “I’m flattered, and you avoided answering the question wonderfully. But I have to ask what make you think none of the reasons you just said aren’t true?”
“Because I know you Ricky, I know you better than anyone else out there, and I know in my heart of hearts none of those reasons are true.”
Ricky feels a cold shiver run down his spine and he casts his bodyguard Mike a nervous glance. Mike nods and slowly makes his way across the room towards them, and Ricky looks back towards Carol. “H-H-Ho..” he clears his throat and smiles nervously. “What makes you think you know me, when we’ve never met until just now?” He says a Mike reaches out and places a hand in Carol’s shoulder, then screams in pain as he bursts into flames while Carol smiles broadly. “We’ve met before silly, don’t you remember the girl who gave you those good looks?”